"Hey, hey, hey, Debra!" greeted Lizzie.
"Hey, Lizzie," Debra greeted back. "Thank goodness you're here."
"Well, you told me to come here. I almost forgot but then I remembered. Then I forgot and then I remembered again."
"Well, at least you're here, that's all that matters. I don't think I could leave if you weren't here."
"Debra, it's just a date. The best compliment to someone you like is showing up."
"It is?"
"Yeah. And also calling them 'The Abominable Snowman of Extreme Hotness'."
Debra nodded in an unsure way. "Right."
"Why are you still in your PJ's?"
Debra looked down at her outfit. "This is what I'm going to wear for my date."
"Oh. Oh! It's pretty! It's even prettier at night. And by 'night', I mean 'the night when we go to sleep'."
"Well, what should I wear?"
"Let me see."
Lizzie went after the small closet in the room and opened the door. She rummaged through every dress in the closet with hopes of finding the perfect one. Yet she didn't see anything special. She turned around and said:
"I don't know. Do you have a sexy dress?"
"I don't think so."
"Oh, Debbie! Guys won't pay attention to us unless we wear a sexy dress."
"They won't?"
"No. I mean they pay attention to us now because we're pretty and fun and happy. But when we wear a Kim Kardashian dress, they won't take their eyes off of us ever. And extended eye contact is good, especially if he has a condition in which he can't close his eyes."
"Okay. Then what will I wear?"
"Oh, I know!" Lizzie put down the purse she was carrying on the bed. She unzipped it and pulled out a long, red, satin dress from it like a magician doing a magic trick. "You can wear this."
"Why do you have a dress in your purse?"
"I was going to see DeMarcus later anyway and I wanted to wear this around him. Can you believe it? He likes red just like me! He also likes purple and green and orange and--"
"Why do you want me to wear it?"
"Oh, because this is your first dinner date and it has to be special. What's more special than wearing the dress the guy of your dreams won't take his eyes off of? Plus, DeMarcus doesn't really care what I wear. He closes his eyes when he kisses me anyway."
"Well, I appreciate it, Lizzie."
Lizzie handed the sensual lacy dress to Debra who admired it in her hands.
"Ooh, do you have any heels?" asked Lizzie.
"I sure do." Debra walked over to her closet and bent down to pick up a pair of tan-colored, chunky sandals with a thick heel. She popped up and showed the shoes to Lizzie.
"Those are hippie heels."
"Hippie heels?"
"I mean they're perfect for a walk on the sidewalk and other flat grounds. They go with anything, except for this dress."
"Oh, well, the rest of my heels look like these."
"That's okay. You can wear my heels." Lizzie took off the floral printed heels from her feet and handed them to her friend.
"Aren't you going to be barefoot?"
"Oh, no, I have plenty of heels in my car. You know that."
"Oh, yeah. Thank you."
"No problem. I'd give you my bra if I have to. Do you think you will need it?"
"No."
"Are you sure?"
"A guy should like me for me, not my breasts."
"That's the spirit."
"I'm proud of being flat chested."
"I'm proud of being short. No, I'm lying; I still have a little problem with it. But I'm eighteen. I won't stop growing until I'm forty-six anyway."
"Yuh-huh." Debra examined the shoes she held with one hand. "Lizzie, these heels seem a bit high."
"Of course they are. I'm short. I don't think I can walk on the ground properly without having heels on. Just walk with your toes and you'll be fine."
"Okay."
"Now I'm gonna teach you how to have a conversation with a guy. Of course, you can talk about cakes with him because guys like cakes. But guys like other things like sports and Megan Fox. I remember when I first started dating: I didn't have to flirt because guys would like me anyway. But I learned a little something-something during my experience. You should flip your hair a lot. Guys love long hair." Lizzie focused on Debra's naturally short hair and began combing the red waves with her fingers to check if that was their original length. "Is that how long your hair will grow?"
Debra looked away for a second. "Yes."
"Do you have a wig?"
"No."
"Okay, then try to flip your imaginary long hair. Imagination is key. Also, move your hands when you're talking like you're trying to swat a fly that you want to stay and go away at the same time." Lizzie gestured for demonstration. "Maybe play with your bracelets and earrings. Playing is fun and guys love fun! Also, bat your eyelashes when he gives you a compliment or ask you an embarrassing question. It will make you look shy... I think. And if he asks you a real question, just give him a short answer but still be descriptive. For some reason, guys doesn't like to hear us talk, which I think is B.C., but sometimes they don't listen. Although that is very hurtful, we still have to talk to them because how else are we going to reproduce? Not that I'm trying to reproduce; I'm waiting until marriage. And I heard that sometimes the babies will come out of your belly button and I really like my innie so I still have to do some thinking on that."
"I have a question."
"Sure, Debbie."
"How come when I'm totally myself when I go on casual dates with guys, it seems to work? But on this dinner date, I have to do a bunch of other stuff?"
"Because sometimes you have to trick a guy into liking you. When he finally does, you trap him. Besides, dinner dates are supposed to be romantic. Romance is important. You can go on a casual date with your mother which is not that special because you see your mom every day. Every day is a casual date. You don't see Drake every day but when you see him tonight, it has to be special so he can continue to like you."
"I don't see my mom every day."
"And don't talk to them about parental issues. That's something you bring up on the second or third date. I think guys don't want to hear it immediately because of that theory by... Siegfried Fraud? You know, the scientist. So be flirty, be playful, keep it short and-- Oh! Don't order meat. You can't eat meat in front of a boy."
"I don't eat meat."
"Good! See? You're already catching on! Now I got to do your makeup."
"Let me guess: guys like makeup, too?"
"Now you're thinking! You're gonna kill this date!"
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