Boyfriends Are Not Tests (Chapter 3)

    The day after, the girls found themselves at lunch again. DeMarcus was with Lizzie but the boyfriends of Debra and Andrea were not seen. Debra was staring hard at Andrea while stabbing repeatedly into her bowl of salad, making Andrea feel awkward and uncomfortable. She had a cheeseburger in her hands but she couldn't eat it while acknowledging Debra's eyes on her. The rest of the gang felt the awkwardness but couldn't understand why.
    "Are you going to eat your salad, Debbie?" asked Skye.
    "Yes. Why?" responded Debra.
    "You're murdering it."
    "I like to chop my salad up a little before I eat it."
    "I like to chop up my pizza before I eat it," confessed Lizzie. "Madeline told me it decreases calories."
    "I'm so glad you like pizza," said DeMarcus. "But I mostly enjoy devouring those pepperonis on your face you call lips."
    "Oh, DeMarcus..."
    "Why aren't you eating?" Madeline asked Andrea.
    "Because not eating decreases calories," answered Andrea.
    Madeline looked at Debra -- who was still looking at Andrea -- then glanced at the Latina. "Okay, what are you guys hiding?" she asked.
    "Nothing."
    "Are you two dating?" queried Lizzie.
    "No!" replied Debra.
    "Guys, it's okay if you're lesbians," said Madeline. "I like lesbians. I'm a fan of Ellen DeGeneres, Rosie O'Donnell, Melissa Etheridge..."
    "All old people," mentioned Skye.
    "We're not lesbians," said Debra. "Me and Andrea just need to talk."
    "Then talk," said Skye.
    "We need to talk in the bathroom."
    "Are you having bathroom problems?" asked Lizzie.
    "No," answered Andrea.
    Debra got out of the table and grabbed Andrea by the wrist to pull her out. She dragged her out of the cafeteria into the small lavatory across from the entrance. Debra let go of her friend then faced her.
    "What do you wanna talk about?" asked Andrea.
    "You know what I want to talk about. I caught you cheating on Marty with Kevin. You think I'm just going to shut up about it?"
    "It would be nice."
    "Well, it's not going to be that way because what you're doing is-- What is that?" Debra noticed the gold chain bracelet around Andrea's right wrist.
    Andrea caressed her new bracelet. "Oh, it's a bracelet."
    "I know what it is. Where did you get it?"
    "Oh, Marty gave it to me."
    "And you accepted it?"
    "Yeah. He wanted me to have it."
    "He wanted you to have it because he thinks that you're a good girlfriend who is faithful and respectful to him."
    "Okay."
    "Okay, and you're not. You're cheating on him and letting him buy you expensive jewelry?"
    "Hey, this was not expensive. He said it cost, like, three-hundred dollars."
    "That's a lot."
    "In poor people world."
    "You sound just like Madeline. Speaking of Madeline, if you're not convinced that what you're doing is wrong, I'm going to have to tell the girls because they deserve to know as well. And when I tell them, you'll be forced to hear what I said, just out of three other people's mouths. Four if you include DeMarcus."
    "Look, I don't want to lie to our friends but they can't know I'm cheating on my boyfriend."
    "Then stop cheating on your boyfriend. Boyfriends are not test; you can't just cheat on them. Andrea, do you understand that you will be causing emotional hurt for the person when they find out something is wrong? Two-timing people is manipulative and selfish and totally crooked."
    "Okay. If two-timing is so bad, then why are you doing it?"
    "What do you mean?"
    "Uh, you're cheating on Drake with Kyle."
    "No, I'm not! Kyle is not my boyfriend."
    "But you like him and you want him to be your boyfriend but instead, Drake is your boyfriend. Even though Kyle is not your boyfriend, you have feelings for him and not Drake. Therefore, you're gonna cause emotional hurt for him when he finds out that you don't actually like him. Boom! Logic."
    "Okay. No, you're right. I am playing with Drake's emotions while toying with Kyle's emotions as well. Man, I am such a whore!"
    "You're not a whore, you're a bohemian. Just less Woodstock-y."
    "I know what I'm doing is wrong but I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings."
    "How do you think I feel? I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings either."
    "How about this? I'll tell Drake if you tell Marty."
    "Done."
    "But we have to tell them today."
    "But I haven't worn this bracelet long enough."
    "You want to be a good person or a gold digger?"
    "Is there a third option?"