Friday, December 30, 2016

BBF4E (Chapter 5)

DeMarcus went through Randall's phone, trying to find some songs on his music app. He played a song, which was considered one of Randall's favorites. It was a mournful piece of classical music.
"Really, bro?" DeMarcus asked.
"It soothes me," Randall responded.
He played another song, which was also classical music, this time more gleeful.
"It puts me in a good mood," commented Randall.
"It obviously doesn't work."
DeMarcus played another song, which was baroque pop, heavy with violins.
"More classical music?" he asked.
"That's the Verve."
"Well, the Verve don't cut it. I'm gonna find us a song."
DeMarcus searched up a song and started playing it. He sat the phone down on the dining table. DeMarcus turned up the volume, allowing the guys to hear the electronic hip-hop song.

That girl is a real crowd pleaser
Small world, all her friends know of me
Young bull livin' like an old geezer
Quick release the cash, watch it fall slowly


All the guys danced to the song in their own ways. First, they were dancing by themselves. Then they began dancing together. Some of them were awkward dancers. The rest of them did not care; they were way into the song. Either way, they were all having the times of their lives.
When the song was over, Calvin gestured to Jeffrey. He walked over to him.
"What's up?" Jeffrey asked.
"I want to show you something," Calvin responded.
"I'm not gay, dude."
"Just come here." Calvin grasped Jeffrey's wrist and led him out of the living room into Madeline's room.
Randall sat down at the dining table and picked up one of Kyle's photographs. He looked at Kyle and asked him, "Do you have a pen?"
"Yep," Kyle answered. He reached it his pocket and pulled out a pen. He handed it to Randall.
"Thank you."
"That's the first time I heard you say, 'Thank you'."
"Yeah, shut up." Randall began writing on the photo.
"You know, you're not so bad, Kyle," admitted DeMarcus.
"You're not so bad yourself, DeMarcus," shared Kyle.
"Give me a hug, man." DeMarcus opened his arms with Kyle coming in and embracing him.
Then the door opened. Madeline came in along with the girls whose arms were full of shopping bags. They witnessed what was going on.
"Oh, no, they're killing each other!" Lizzie shouted.
"I'll save you, Kyle!" Debra said, running towards the boys.
She broke up the hug and chopped DeMarcus on his shoulder, knocking him out. He laid on the floor on his back with his arms and legs out.
"Hey, hey, Debra!" said Kyle. "What are you doing?"
"Uh, saving you," responded Debra.
"He wasn't hurting me, Debra. He was hugging me."
"Hugging you? Oh, that's so sweet."
Lizzie walked over to DeMarcus and crouched over him. "Babe?" she said, slapping him on the cheek. He would not wake up. "Babe? Babe? Babe?"
"Babe's dead, Lizzie," said Skye.
"Speaking of dead, I found Sean knocked out outside," mentioned Madeline. "He was actually breathing but do you know what happened to him?"
Kyle's forehead wrinkled. "No, not at all."
"I was thinking about calling an ambulance, but then I was like, 'Nah.'"
"You hit his pressure point, didn't you?" Debra whispered to Kyle.
"Yeah," he whispered back.
"I'm not mad at you."
"You shouldn't. You just did the same thing to DeMarcus."
"Where's Jeffrey?" asked Skye.
He came into the living room, looking way different. He traded his black and white clothing for an all black outfit, involving a leather jacket and boots. He was missing his beanie and his jet black hair was slicked back. Also, his big glasses were replaced with sheer, black sunglasses. Skye dropped her jaw after taking a look at him.
"Oh, my God," Madeline said, rolling her eyes.
"Oh, my God," said Skye, smiling. "You look... different."
"Thanks," Jeffrey said in an Irish accent, walking towards his girlfriend. "I know."
"Lose the accent," demanded Madeline.
"Okay," Jeffrey said in his regular voice.
"Jeffrey, what happened to you?" asked Skye.
"I just thought it was time for a change, you know? I mean, I'm not gonna dress like this every day but I want you to have this."
"Okay. You want to get out of here?"
"Yes, I do."
Skye took Jeffrey by the hand and pulled him out of the condo.
"She's gonna let him touch her titties tonight," said Andrea. "Alright, Randall, you ready to go?"
Randall put the pen down. "Yes, sweetie."
"I love it when you call me sweetie."
"I'm not gonna call you sweetie every day." He got up and walked towards his girlfriend.
"Yes, you are."
 "Maybe if I had a black beatle, you wouldn't care."
 "What is that supposed to mean?"
Randall walked out the door with Andrea following. Meanwhile, Calvin came back into the living room. He walked towards Madeline when he saw her.
"Hey, babe," he said.
"Hey," she responded.
He looked at DeMarcus, who was still on the floor with Lizzie crouched over him. "What is DeMarcus doing on the floor?"
"Just chilling. What did you do to Jeffrey?"
"Oh, I 'gay-dified' him. It was the least I could do."
"There's nothing gay about Bono."
"I know."
"Besides, you can't be gay because you're with me."
"I know." Calvin pecked Madeline on the lips.
"Guys, I'm gonna take DeMarcus home," said Lizzie, lifting him up. She put his arm around her shoulders and held tightly to his hand. "He loves my driving anyway."
"See you!" said Debra, waving at her.
Lizzie effortlessly dragged DeMarcus' body out of the condo.
"Yeah, I gotta go, too," said Calvin. "They're playing Priscilla, Queen of the Desert on the Indie Channel at five and I can't miss it."
"Hey, dude," called Kyle.
Calvin approached him. Kyle put his hand on the back of Calvin's head and pressed his forehead with his.
"Stay you," Kyle said.
"Thanks, man."
Calvin released himself from Kyle and gave Madeline another kiss. "I'll see you later, okay?"
"Okay," Madeline said with a smile.
Calvin waved at Kyle before leaving. Kyle waved back.
"So, Hillary, I'm just gonna go," he said. "But it was nice staying at your condo for a few hours. It's pretty sweet."
"I know, hobo," said Madeline, putting her hands on her hips.
"Whatever. Let's go, Debbie."
With their arms around each other, Kyle and Debra proceeded to walk out the door.
"See you, Maddie!" said Debra.
Madeline walked over to the table. "See you," she said. "Hey, wait. Wait!"
The couple went out the door anyway.
"Who's gonna clean up all this mess?!"
Madeline looked down at the table and found a strange looking letter. She picked it up and read it to herself.

Dear Madeline,
We accept the fact that we had to sacrifice four hours of our Saturday for not getting along with each other. That was wrong of us. But we think you're crazy to keep us confined in your fancy home so we can get to know one another. We are who we are. In the simplest terms, in the most convenient definitions. But what we found out is that each one of us is a brain and an athlete and a shrinking violet and a metrosexual and a karate-chopping poet. Does that solve the problem?
Sincerely yours,
The Boyfriend Club

Madeline flipped over the letter and laid eyes on an attractive woman in a suggestive fireman uniform holding a fire-hose between her legs. Madeline yelped and dropped the letter.

"I'm so elated that you and the guys are getting along," Debra said to Kyle as they walked towards his car.
"Yeah, it was bound to happen," Kyle said, putting on his sunglasses with one hand.
"Did you try to win them over with your tough-guy facade?"
"A little bit."
"I guess it didn't work, did it?"
"No, it did not."
"Good. You're better when you're sweet."
"Thank you, babe. Ooh, a butterfly." He pointed at the exotic insect in the air.
"Quick, catch it!"
Kyle reached for the butterfly and clenched his fist.

Thursday, December 29, 2016

BBF4E (Chapter 4)

After having a ball looking at raunchy photographs, the boys found themselves sitting on the floor in a circle, almost in complete silence. That is until Kyle started talking, of course.
"Why haven't you said anything?" he asked Jeffrey.
"I don't know," Jeffrey answered quietly.
"He said something now," DeMarcus pointed out.
"Everyone had something to say except for Jeff," noticed Kyle.
"I guess I didn't want to be any trouble," said Jeffrey.
"Why would you be any trouble? Do you have a smart mouth... like everyone else in this room?"
"I don't have a smart mouth," said Calvin.
"You keep saying that you're not gay."
"That's because I'm not gay!"
"See? Smart mouth."
"How am I a smart mouth when I'm defending myself? I'm just trying to tell you that I'm not gay."
"So you're not a virgin?"
"No! Wait, what?"
"You claim that you're not gay and you really like Madeline. So I assume that you had sex with her already."
"Well..."
"Have you?"
"No," Calvin mumbled.
"I'm sorry. What?"
"No."
"I can't hear you."
"I said no! I never had sex with Madeline! I'm still a virgin!" Calvin crossed his arms and looked at the ceiling.
"I've went third base before," admitted Jeffrey.
Calvin glanced at Jeffrey.
"You what?" asked Kyle.
"I've went third base," Jeffrey repeated. "You know, with Skye. After senior prom, she felt really bad about cheating on me in the past. So she let me touch her breasts so I can tell my friends about it."
"Did you touch them under the bra or over?"
"Ew, Kyle," said DeMarcus.
"Under," Jeffrey responded. "They were very warm. That's probably why her nipples weren't hard."
"Come on, guys," said Calvin, covering his eyes. "I don't want to talk about Skye's nipples."
"Then let's talk about Madeline's nipples," suggested Kyle.
Calvin squint his eyes. "I never seen them. Even if I did, I would never talk about them. You just want me to keep saying I'm a virgin over and over again until you're satisfied."
"So?"
"If you want to talk about nipples so bad, let's talk about Debra's nipples."
Kyle's smile dropped.
"Oh, yeah, we should," said DeMarcus. "She's got small breasts so I'm pretty sure that most of them are just areolas."
"Stop it!" Kyle commanded. "Don't talk about my girlfriend's breasts!"
"Why?" asked Calvin. "We just talked about Skye's breasts."
"Jeffrey doesn't care. I do. Debra's my girlfriend and I will not let you talk about her nipples!"
"So you've seen them?"
"No!"
"So are you a virgin?"
"I--" Kyle sighed. "Yes, I am a virgin."
"We're all virgins," said Randall. "It's so obvious."
"It's obvious for you."
"Our girlfriends are a bunch of prudes, man!" said Calvin.
"That's fine," said DeMarcus. "Lizzie is saving herself for marriage and I appreciate that. It shows that she finds sex to be a sacred thing and not something to play with."
"You know, as a guy, when you grow up, you are taught that sex doesn't have to be special at all. But when you hear things like saving yourself for the right person, it makes sense. Sex is a serious thing and when it happens for me, I want it to happen with someone I really care about and they have to care about me, too."
"I don't think about sex very often," admitted Randall. "I get too wrapped up in things like math and science. But Andrea, she's an Amazon. It would be a lie if I said I never submitted to wild fantasies about her. But I'm just not quite ready to take her. I appreciate the relationship we have at this moment. I don't want to spoil it with animalistic attempts to copulate. Let's just be humans and not animals."
"There's nothing wrong with being an animal," said Kyle. "Animals are a part of nature. Besides, we're kinda animals."
"But we're not."
"Evolution says so."
"Theories of evolution have been disputed."
"What does 'copulate' mean?" asked DeMarcus.
"Oh, read a book for once, will you?"
"Why do you gotta be so uptight?" questioned Kyle.
"Why do you gotta be so downtight?"
"That's not a word."
"I just made it a word."
"Look, you need to chill."
"I don't want to have sex either," spilled Jeffrey. "Touching Skye's boobs is enough. I don't feel the need to have sex with her. But I have thought about it. I figured if I have sex with Skye, she'll stay in love with me forever and I won't have to worry about losing her again."
"You can't use sex to trap somebody," said Calvin. "That's not how it works."
"But when girls have sex with someone, they fall in love with them if they weren't in love already."
"But you should trust that she loves you. If you don't think she feels that way, you shouldn't be with her. I felt that way about Madeline, now I trust that she feels the same way about me."
"You love Madeline?" asked Kyle.
"Did Adam love Eve?"
"It's disputed," said Randall, looking at the ceiling.
"The answer is yes."
"Sorry for calling you gay," apologized Kyle.
"It's fine. I have gay parents, so that's probably why I seem... gay, I guess. I got two dads. One of them used sperm to impregnate a surrogate so I wasn't adopted. I got gay dad genes."
Kyle chuckled.
"What do you have against gay people?" DeMarcus asked Kyle.
He looked at DeMarcus. "I got nothing against them," he answered. "I just figured if you're gay, you should admit it. I know we live in a world where some people are not okay with it but that didn't stop the millions of gay people who are themselves. I wanted Calvin to embrace it, even though he didn't have it."
"Well, I'm not gay," said Calvin. "I just have gay parents. And a few gay friends. I'm not ashamed of my life. I wouldn't change it for anything."
"Hey, I appreciate that, man," said DeMarcus. "I love gay people. I got a gay uncle and he's my favorite uncle so I got no reason to be ashamed. I also like lesbians. But if you're a girl who's not lesbian but likes to make out with other girls, I support that, too. You know, I've tried to watch Cruel Intentions. There's supposed to be a scene where Selma Blair and Buffy the Vampire Slayer make out. I watched it on TV and they cut that part out. I don't know why but they did. So it comes on again but on a different channel so I'm thinking, 'They're gonna make out.' Then they didn't. So one day, it comes back on but on another channel. I'm thinking, 'This is it. They're gonna show it. I'm gonna see it.' It comes on; the part is still cut out. I don't understand why they would cut that part out. Is it too hot for TV? Because they let that Tosh guy do whatever he wants and I don't see his show going off the air or anything like that any time soon. Now if I want to see the makeout scene, I got to go watch it on YouTube, which is not what I want to do because then it'll be all fuzzy. I need to see it clear. So what I got to do is rent the movie for three ninety-nine if I don't want to buy it for eleven ninety-nine. You're telling me I have to pay money to watch that scene when I could've watched it for free on TV? THAT'S SICK!"
The guys stared at DeMarcus for a while. He didn't know what to say after that. Then Kyle started slow-clapping, prompting the other guys to applaud DeMarcus.
"Wow," Kyle said. "That was incredible. You just got passionate about something."
"Thanks," DeMarcus said, smiling.
"That was dumb," Randall commented.
"Good for you," Kyle said to him.
"You know, I can never tell Lizzie about that," said DeMarcus. "She wouldn't understand."
"I know what you mean," said Kyle. "Debra can never know that I look at cheesecake."
"Your secret is safe with me, my cheesy brother." DeMarcus gave Kyle a fist bump.
"I don't know about that," said Calvin, shaking his head. "I might have to tell Madeline and she could tell Debra."
"You better not say a word," Kyle demanded, pointing at him. "Alright? Debra can never know this. You better not say a word!"
"What are you going to do? Waste me? You're not so tough. You want us to think you're tough but you're not. I just remembered something; you write poetry. You were in the yearbook for poetry club and I think I saw you one time reciting a poem for One Mic Night."
Kyle moved his eyes left and right.
"Oh, yeah, I remember that," said Randall. "I had to go because a few members from math club were participating at One Mic Night to sing a song about pi. You recited a poem about flowers. That's not something a tough guy would do if you happen to rely on the definition of a tough guy."
"Dude, you read a poem about some flowers?" asked DeMarcus.
"Alright, you caught me," said Kyle, putting his hands up. "I guess I'm not so tough after all."
"Good," said Calvin. "I was never scared of you anyway."
Kyle snickered.
"What kind of pie was the song about?" DeMarcus questioned. "Cherry pie?"
"No, the number pi," replied Randall. "Three point one four one five nine--"
"Yeah, you don't got to tell us all that," said Kyle.
"I don't have to listen to you, poetry boy."
"God, you sound just like my father."
"Good."
"Are we going to be like our parents?" asked DeMarcus.
"Why do you ask so many questions?" Kyle asked.
DeMarcus shrugged.
"I heard when you grow up," Jeffrey started, "your oysters sag."
"Oh, man," DeMarcus murmured.
"Good thing mine are tight and ready for fertilizing," said Calvin.
DeMarcus chuckled. His chuckle encouraged the other guys to chuckle. Then their chuckles turned into laughs.
"Oh, we're going to be best friends," Calvin said through his chortles.
"I wouldn't push it, Calvin," laughed Kyle.

Wednesday, December 28, 2016

BBF4E (Chapter 3)

It was just a few minutes in and DeMarcus and Kyle were already fighting. Actually, DeMarcus had his hands wrapped around Kyle's neck while shaking him back and forth. Kyle's eyes were like a frog's as he gagged. Calvin did his best to pull DeMarcus away. Eventually, he was able to take DeMarcus' hands off of Kyle's neck. Calvin pushed him back while Kyle gasped for air.
"Who taught you how to choke?" Kyle panted. "Your mother?"
"Don't talk about my mama!" DeMarcus demanded, beginning to charge at Kyle.
Calvin continued to hold him back. "Hey, don't stoop to his level," he said to DeMarcus. "He's just trying to get a rise out of you."
DeMarcus glanced at Calvin before staring down Kyle. "You're lucky Lizzie's not here. I don't want her to see this side of me."
"I don't think you can get any angrier than that," said Kyle. "You're nothing but a teddy bear."
"Hey, teddy bears are cool!"
"Sure they are."
Straight off, Calvin's phone started beeping. He took it out of his pocket and looked at the screen. Madeline was requesting a FaceTime with him.
"Oh, Madeline's calling," Calvin warned.
He answered the call and Madeline's face took over the screen. He could Lizzie looking clothes in the background.
"Hey, baby boy!" said Madeline, smiling.
"Hey, baby girl!" Calvin responded.
Kyle snickered.
"Are you still at the house?" asked Madeline.
"Of course," Calvin replied. "Why would I leave?"
"I don't know. I figured someone would. Everyone else is still there, right?"
"Yeah, of course. Nobody left."
Madeline squinted her eyes. "Let me see."
Calvin eyed all the boys, prompting them to get up. The boys grouped with Calvin, getting their faces in the small screen in the corner of the phone.
"See?" asked Calvin. "We're all here."
"Oh, goodie!" said Madeline.
Lizzie turned around and stood by Madeline, looking into her phone. "Oh, hi, my summer sunflower!" Lizzie said, grinning.
"Hi, my cherry blossom," DeMarcus responded.
"Everything's good over there?"
"Yep, we're getting along like Tom and Jerry."
"Tom and Jerry don't get along," Madeline corrected.
"Oh, then I guess whoever's not Tom and Jerry, we're getting along just like them."
"Okay."
Kyle began reaching under Calvin's shirt and pinching his back. Calvin tried to use his free hand to swat Kyle away. But Kyle continued to pinch him, trying to make it look like he's not doing anything. Calvin didn't want to make it noticeable to Madeline but he felt himself making faces, which he tried to restrain.
"So I was just calling to let you know that you guys can have lunch," continued Madeline.
"Oh, cool!" said DeMarcus.
"You may help yourselves to the fridge and the cabinets. I have a ton of food. Please don't drink all my water and eat my fruits. I'm on a no-sodium diet."
"Got it," said Calvin, scrunching his nose.
"Are you okay?"
"Yes, I just need to pee, that's all."
"Well, you should've peed in your house before you came here."
"Yeah, you should've peed in your house," repeated Kyle.
"And don't make a mess," Madeline ordered. "With the food, not with your pee. But don't pee and make a mess with that either."
"Okay, Madeline," said Calvin, his eye twitching.
"I suggest you hold in it until I say you can use the bathroom."
"Madeline, we got to go."
"Alright. Hey, did Sean come over?"
"Yes, which I find excessive," started Randall, "because if you're checking up on us, why would you need a lackey?"
"So me and the girls can take our time at the mall."
"Of course you would say that."
"Whatever, Randall."
"Madeline, we need to go!" Calvin said really fast with his eyes closed shut.
"Okay. See you when we get home."
"Bye, Maddie," Kyle sang, waving his one hand. His other hand continued to pinch Calvin's back.
"Bye?"
"I love you, Mister Goodbar!" said Lizzie.
"I love you, too, my Pay Day!" replied DeMarcus.
Calvin ended the call. He dropped his phone on the couch so he could use his hands to hit Kyle repeatedly.
"Ow, ow," Kyle said deadpan. "That hurts. You're really getting me."
The boys went in the kitchen and opened up the refrigerator and the cabinets. They picked out the food and snacks that they wanted to consume. When they were done, they went to the dining room and sat at the table to have their lunch.
Kyle sat down with two cans of Pepsi. He decided to throw one of them to Jeffrey, who catches it without even looking at it. Kyle looked at what Calvin got: a plastic container of sushi and California rolls. He even brought his own set of chopsticks.
"You're eating sushi?" asked Kyle.
"Yes," Calvin answered irritably.
"Wow, you really are gay."
"Straight guys can enjoy sushi for lunch!"
"I guess they can. What else are you going to have? A cherry Pop-Tart?"
"Will you shut up and let me eat? I figured you would understand my appreciation for this food."
"Why? Because it's an Asian food? Sushi is Japanese; I'm Korean. So, no, I don't understand your appreciation for this food. At least not a hundred percent."
Kyle and Calvin heard rustling and looked over to DeMarcus. They were surprised to see how many items were on his side. There were so many that Kyle had to list them aloud.
"A triple decker sandwich, a tortilla wrap, a family-size bag of chips, a small bag of little cookies, an apple and a carton of milk."
"It's not an apple," clarified DeMarcus. "It's a tomato. See?" He picked up the fresh tomato and showed it to the guys. "Madeline said to not eat the fruits."
"Tomato is a fruit," said Randall.
"Oh, is it?"
"Why the frick are you eating all this?" asked Kyle.
"Food creates fat. I need fat to build muscle. I always eat like this before I work out."
"Who said that you got to eat like that to build muscles?"
"My coach. My old coach."
"Uh-huh." Kyle looked at Jeffrey, who was doing something really interesting.
All the guys watched Jeffrey separate two slices of white bread on his paper plate. By the plate was a little box of Cap'n Crunch, a rolled-up bag of granulated sugar and a plastic-covered slice of American cheese. He unwrapped the cheese before placing it on a slice of bread. Then he unrolled the bag of sugar and gently poured it on both bread slices. Next, he opened the box of cereal, opened the sealed bag and poured that on the slice with the cheese. He used his hands to crush the cereal down. Jeffrey put the slices together, bits of cereal and sugar falling onto the plate. Then he gave his sandwich a good chomp. As he crunched his lunch, he saw all the boys looking at him. Not believing what they just have seen, they all slowly look away.
Kyle got up and sat next to Randall. He brought his can of Pepsi with him. Randall just started picking up the sandwich he made.
"What are you having?" Kyle asked.
"It's none of your business," Randall replied.
Kyle snatched the sandwich out of Randall's hands and began examining it.
"What are you doing? Unhand that! Unhand that, I said."
"Why do you talk like Stewie?"
"I have no idea what you're talking about."
"That's a shocker." Kyle tossed the sandwich onto Randall's plate. "You cut off the crust on your sandwich?"
"I don't like crusts."
"And it's just sliced turkey and lettuce. Really?"
"Hey, it's my sandwich. Where's your lunch anyway?"
"Oh, it's this." Kyle held up his soda. "But I did bring something. You guys want to see?"
"See what?" asked DeMarcus.
"Well, it's in my car."
"Kyle, you can't go to your car," mentioned Calvin. "We're not allowed to leave the apartment."
"But if we do leave, we got to leave together and all we got to do is come back."
"Listen, there is no way we're leaving the condo."

"I can't believe we just left the condo!" Calvin said.
"Will you be quiet?" requested Kyle, who was leading the way.
"What if we get caught?" asked Randall. "Sean is supposed to be watching us."
"I don't see Sean anywhere. He probably went home. I could feel he was bluffing about keeping an eye on us."
Kyle took his keys out his pants' pocket and unlocked his cool car. He opened the door to the backseat.
"You guys like cheesecake?" he asked.
"Oh, not at all," replied Randall. "I'm lactose intolerant."
"Not that kind of cheesecake." Kyle crawled inside and pulled down the hidden armrest in the middle of the seat. Out of the compartment scattered numerous papers with scantily clad women photographed on them. Kyle grabbed as much as he could and showed them to the guys. "This kind of cheesecake," he said.
"Pornography?" asked Calvin.
"Not pornography. These women are classy. That's why they're half-naked."
"Why does it look like you tore them out of magazines?" asked DeMarcus.
"Eh, my dad can't have all the fun." Kyle closed the door. "Now let's go." He locked the door and led the way back to the building.
As the guys followed him, they all saw Sean standing by what seems to be his car. The guys panicked and went the other way. They tried to find another door that leads inside the building but every turn they made, they saw Sean in their path. They went one way, he was there. They went another way, he was there. No matter where they were running, Sean was somehow in the way. And he had no idea that the fellas were outside. He just kept wandering and wandering. Finally, the guys ran into a dead end. They bumped in front of a tall, black fence.
"Oh, no, we're trapped!" said Calvin. "Madeline's gonna dump me and leave me for Sean. Okay, she might not go to Sean but she's still gonna dump me!"
Kyle shook his head. "No, she's not," he said. "I'm gonna distract Sean. You guys find a door."
"You're gonna risk your relationship with Debra?"
"She deserves better. But I got an idea." Kyle turned to Randall and stuffed all the photographs down his slacks. "Here."
"Unnecessary," said Randall.
"Good luck." Kyle began running the opposite way with the guys watching him disappear.
At the top of his lungs, Kyle sang "Gangnum Style" by South Korean artist Psy to get Sean's attention.

Najeneun ttasaroun inganjeogin yeoja
Keopi hanjanui yeoyureul aneun pumgyeok inneun yeoja
Bami omyeon simjangi tteugeowojineun yeoja
Geureon banjeon inneun yeoja

Sean heard the singing and knew something was up. He ran through paths and looked around, following the voice.

Eh, sexy lady
Op, op, op, op
Oppa Gangnam Style

Eventually, Sean bumped into Kyle and grabbed him by the wrists.
"Well, look at what we have here," Sean said.
"Naelyeo! Son chiwo!" Kyle uttered, struggling in Sean's grip.
"Uh-uh. Don't use your foreign talk on me." Sean took Kyle's hands behind his back and restrained them as if he was about to handcuff him. "You know, I've always admired your relationship with Debra from afar. I wish you were Calvin right now. Why couldn't you be Calvin?"
"I don't know, man. I'm just a rebel."
"Well, this rebel is going to get into serious trouble when the girls find out that you left the condo."
"Wait! Before you call Madeline, can I show you a magic trick?"
"A magic trick?"
"Yeah, I've been dying to show somebody this trick I learned. The guys didn't care to see it so I was wondering if you want to."
Sean let go of Kyle. "Fine. I like magic tricks."
Kyle faced Sean and put up two fingers -- his index and middle finger -- in front of his face. "Okay, follow the fingers."
He moved them left and right at a slow pace. Sean's eyes moved along with the fingers. After moving his fingers for a good five seconds, Kyle's ring finger and pinkie joined with his thumb still at his palm. Then he used that hand to chop Sean in the shoulder. Like mad, Sean dropped to the ground, out like a light.
Kyle shrugged his shoulders and fixed his black leather jacket. "I love being Asian," he muttered to himself.

Ding-dong!
Calvin got up from the dining chair and answered the door.
"How you doin'?" Kyle asked, coming in.
 He walked towards Randall, who was sitting at the table, and gestured his hand. Randall rolled his eyes before digging into his pants and pulling out the crumpled-up photographs. He handed them all to Kyle. Calvin went back to his seat.
Kyle started passing the photos around the table so all the boys could catch a glimpse of at least one. For a while, the boys, except for Calvin, took a look at the pictures, hooting and laughing at them. Calvin tried to finish his sushi but couldn't help but glance at the boys as their laughter grew louder.
Kyle saw how bug-eyed Randall was when he caught sight of a big-breasted woman in nothing but a pair of suspenders. Kyle unhooked his sunglasses from his plaid shirt and gave them to Randall. He put them on and continued to look at the photo. He saw it in a whole new hue, which made him snicker, trying to refrain from cracking up. Kyle laughed at him.
Feeling like Calvin was being left out, Kyle handed him a photograph. Calvin took it and gave it a look. He began to laugh, which made him choke on the sushi he was currently eating. Rice and bits of seaweed flung out of his mouth. The guys watched him cough and started laughing.
"Boys cannot handle their cheesecake," said Randall in a funny voice. "That's what it is."

Sunday, December 25, 2016

BBF4E (Chapter 2)

Over the weekend, the girls invited their boyfriends to Madeline's condo. They didn't tell them what was going on so each of them came, thinking that they would be the only boyfriend there. By as the boyfriends came one by one on Saturday afternoon, they realized that what they thought wasn't true. They didn't even speak nor look at each other. They just sat on the furniture with their girlfriends. Jeffrey was the last boyfriend to come over and he was just as surprised as they were. The girls felt awkward about their silence but tried to make each of their boys stay.
"What's going on?" Kyle asked Debra. She was standing by the dining chair he was sitting in.
"Shh!" she shushed, putting her finger over her lips.
Madeline parted from her boyfriend and stood by the coffee table. "Welcome to my house," she announced. "Now it's twelve fifty-seven. The girls and I are going to the mall and we won't be back until four. This means you will stay here for three hours and three minutes until we get back."
Jeffrey stood up. "This is crazy," he said. "I can't stay here." He began to leave.
Skye jumped in front of him. "Stand in the place where you were!" she sang.
Obeying her command, Jeffrey backed up into his original spot, which was near a chair in the corner of the room.
"Anyway, you will use this time to hang out," Madeline continued. "You will share interests, tell jokes or whatever it is boys like to do. Since this is my condo, I will tell you when to use the bathroom. I will tell you when to have lunch. I'm gonna call Calvin to tell you guys when to do those things."
"I'm Calvin," he said, raising his hand.
"Are there any questions?"
Kyle raised his hand. "Yeah, does Hillary Clinton know that you raid her wardrobe?" he asked.
Debra lightly hit him on the shoulder.
"Very funny, Kyle," said Madeline. "Did you raid a hobo's closet? Oh, wait, hobos don't have closets because they're homeless. Silly me. Are there any real questions?"
Kyle raised his hand again. "Why do you got to hurt my feelings?"
"Listen, you guys better be in this living room when we come back. While you spend time together, maybe you can figure out who you really are. And don't turn on the TV. I know how you guys like to fight over what to watch and I will not have blood on my remote. It'll mess up the buttons. Let's head out, girls."
The girls picked up their purses and grouped together. Before the guys knew it, the girls left out the condo, speaking to one another. The living room was filled with absolute silence. Jeffrey sat back down on the comfy chair in the corner. The guys still didn't look at each other. Calvin and DeMarcus were at both ends of the couch and they didn't even pay each other any mind. Randall was sitting in a seat opposite Jeffrey while Kyle was sitting at the dining table, looking down at his boot-clad feet. After a little while, he put his head up and looked at the guys being stubborn mules. He was the first to break the silence.
"That Madeline has some attitude. She thinks she's the boss of everyone. She's not much of a boss."
"That's my girlfriend you're talking about," Calvin muttered.
Kyle looked at Calvin. "I'm sorry. I couldn't hear you."
Calvin looked at him, too, then looked away.
"Listen, if you're gonna talk to me, you gotta talk to me."
"I said that's my girlfriend you're talking about," Calvin said louder.
"I know she's your girlfriend. That doesn't mean she's not bossy."
"She isn't bossy."
"Oh, really? So she has never bossed you around?"
Calvin didn't answer. He just avoided eye contact with Kyle.
"Hello?"
"Leave him alone, man," DeMarcus demanded.
"Why? Am I bothering him?"
"Just cut it out."
"I was just asking him a question."
"Well, he doesn't want to answer it."
"Oh, my bad." Kyle put his hands up. "He probably doesn't like Madeline anyway."
"What do you mean?"
"Well, it's obvious. He's gay."
"I'm not gay," Calvin defended.
"Yeah, you are."
"No, I'm not."
"No boy wears shirts that bright."
Calvin looked down at his bright green collared shirt. "That doesn't mean anything."
"Oh, come on. You even sound like a girl. Just admit it, man; you're gay."
"Even if Calvin's gay, why does that matter?" asked DeMarcus.
"Dude, I'm not gay," said Calvin.
"Do you have anything against gay people?"
"No but Calvin clearly does since he doesn't want to admit it," said Kyle.
"Ain't nothing wrong with being gay. Gay people got great style, great advice and great personalities. They're awesome! You're just jealous because you ain't gay."
"I'm not gay either," said Calvin.
"Hey, you support the LGBT community," Kyle said to DeMarcus. "Good for you. You know, I should've expected the football star to defend the yearbook kid."
"What's your name again?"
"What's yours?"
"DeMarcus."
"DeMarcus. Is that even a real name?"
"If it's my name, then yes."
"Goodie."
"You know, I'm so glad you didn't come to dinner that other day because I would've wasted you."
"Totally?"
"Totally."
"Oh, I'm in a room with a bunch of idiots," Randall mumbled.
"You think you're so cool with your purple hair and your leather jacket," said DeMarcus. "But you ain't nothing."
"And you are?" asked Kyle.
"What"
"You said I ain't nothing. So you're nothing?"
 "No, that's not-- You're playing Twister with my words."
"Nothing said what?"
"What?"
"I thought so."
"You people are idiots!" said Randall.
"Stop playing tricks on my mind, man," DeMarcus demanded.
"Uh, no, I think that's you doing that to yourself."
"Screw you!"
"Screw you."
"I'm surrounded by idiots and nothing else," Randall said to himself.
"Hey!" Kyle looked at Randall "What are you babbling about?"
"I didn't want to be here. I don't want to be here. I thought I was going to have some intellectual time with Andrea but that's not happening now, is it? Now you got me listening to the most idiotic conversation I ever listened to. You're confusing DeMarcus with his own language because he said 'ain't nothing', which is a double negative. Now you got him malfunctioning like a broken robot. And it's all because you said Madeline is bossy. Even though you're right, I got to second that. Andrea is the bossiest person you could ever know. But when you put those two together, I can't even explain what could happen."
"Randy--"
"My name's not Randy."
"Andrea could boss a potato into a French fry. Madeline could try. Argument solved."
"You guys don't still have to talk about my girlfriend," said Calvin.
"Hey, your girlfriend was the most popular kid at school. People like her are meant to be talked about. I know your girlfriend knows this."
"It still isn't right."
"Not like you should care. You're gay."
"I'm not gay!"
All of a sudden, Jeffrey sneezed... loudly. Everyone looked at him. He looked at everyone back and wiped his nose with the back of his hand.
"I've seen you before, you know," said Kyle, pointing at him.
Jeffrey sniffled.
Ding-dong!
Calvin got up and so did Kyle. He stared him down until Calvin sat back down. Kyle walked over to the door and answered it. At the door was Sean, Skye's bandmate, who was in a pretty good mood.
"Hey," he greeted Kyle.
"Hey," Kyle said back. "Who are you?"
"That's Sean," replied Calvin. "He's in a band with Skye called A New Yesterday."
"You know, Jeffrey could've said that."
Calvin glanced at Jeffrey before looking into space.
"So whatcha want?" Kyle asked Sean.
"Oh, I'm here to spy on you," he answered.
"What?"
"Yeah, Madeline asked me to keep an eye on you guys and make sure that none of you leave."
"How could that be?" asked Calvin. "She said she was gonna call me to check up on us."
"I know. But she wanted me to stop by so none of you will lie for the other and stuff like that."
"Okay, then why don't you come in?" asked DeMarcus.
"Oh, Madeline forbade me to step foot in her home. So I'm just gonna watch you from the outside. I got binoculars."
"Oh, that's real rich," Randall muttered.
"Yep, so don't try to leave. And the girls said whoever tries to leave first is going to get broken up with. Hopefully, it'll be you, Calvin."
Calvin scrunched his eyebrows. "Aren't you dating Chrissy?" he questioned.
"Yeah but she's vacationing in Florida. I got some freedom before she comes back. So, yeah, try to leave." Sean disappeared into the hall.
Kyle closed the door and chuckled. "Looks like Sean is after your girlfriend, Calvin," he said.
"Madeline is not too fond of him," said Calvin, "so it's not like he's going to take her away from me."
"I mean, it is possible. He's straight."
"How many times do I got to say I'm not gay?!"
"Enough times that'll make you straight."
"I am straight!"
"Idiots," Randall whispered.

BBF4E (Chapter 1)

"You have so much tuna on your face right now," mentioned Skye, pointing at Andrea's messy face.
"I'm saving this for later," said Andrea in a muffled tone, pointing at her own face, her mouth full of sandwich.
Skye chuckled.
"We're gonna have to stop coming to The Tea Room if you're gonna keep buying these tuna salad sandwiches," said Madeline with a straight face.
"Don't be a hater," said Andrea, still muffled.
Skye's chuckles turned into a laugh.
Madeline picked up her small, triangle-shaped sandwich. "So how was your double date with Lizzie yesterday?" she asked Debra.
"It was swell," answered Debra, "although Kyle didn't show."
"He didn't?"
Debra shook her head. "Nope. He told me that he wasn't comfortable going on a double date so he decided not to come. It was just me, Lizzie and DeMarcus."
"Yeah, it was a triple threat dinner," said Lizzie, nodding.
"Wow," Madeline said, raising her eyebrows. "Are you mad at Kyle?"
"I know Kyle too well to be mad at him," Debra responded. "But when I do see him, I'm gonna give him a flick on his wrist."
"Yeah, that'll do it," said Madeline sarcastically.
"Look at the flick at the wrist," sang Andrea clearly.
"It was probably good that Kyle didn't come," said Lizzie. "DeMarcus said he didn't know what he would've done if Kyle was there. I said he could talk to him about boy stuff but DeMarcus was like, 'Nah!'. He was glad Kyle didn't show."
"What are these guys' problems?" asked Skye. "Do they have beef with each other?"
"No, it's a clique thing," clarified Madeline. "Our boyfriends were in different cliques in high school."
"Well, we're not in high school anymore so what's the big frickin' deal?"
"Those guys were in different groups for so long that they got used to the idea of only being friends with their friends."
"But we're not clique-y," said Debra. "Look at us. We shouldn't even hang out together."
"We're rebels to society!" said Skye, throwing her fist in the air.
Debra laughed.
"Calm down, Hitler," Madeline demanded. "Look, we never see our boyfriends together. Maybe in the same room but never really interacting. For example, I've never seen Randall talk to Calvin."
"Randall doesn't like anybody," said Andrea with her mouth full again.
"But he likes you so that's a start. Why can't he like anyone else?"
"Jeffrey is sorta shy," said Skye. "He hardly interacts with anyone who doesn't skateboard."
"See? That's the problem. We need to bring them out of their comfort zone."
"We need to diversify our boyfriends," said Lizzie, putting all of her fingertips together.
"Yeah... I guess. They should all hang out together. But not with us, by themselves."
"What if they kill each other?"
"Well, it was nice knowing them."
"That's a nice plan," Debra commented. "But how are we gonna get them together if they won't hang out with each other?"
"We lie," Madeline said in a sinister voice.
"Ah, something you're good at," said Skye, nodding.
"I am not a liar."
"Yes, you are," said Andrea, still muffled. "You lie all the time."
"I can't even handle you with your mouth full."

Tuesday, December 20, 2016

Everybody Loves a Waitress (Chapter 5)

"This condo is pretty sweet, Madeline," commented Lucky. Lizzie was sitting behind her, braiding one side of her red hair.
"Thank you," said Madeline with a smile. "My dad is a sweet buyer."
"Is the trial against Tidbits still going on?" asked Skye.
"Yep, and my dad has a lot of evidence so that place is going down in no time."
"I can't believe that guy was trying to run that restaurant as a brothel at the same time," shared Debra.
"If I knew that was a brothel, I would've never worked there," said Lizzie. "I should've done my research."
"Ya think?" asked Skye.
"I hate how things like prostitution is still encouraged in this world," said Madeline. "I wish everybody grew up making the right choices, not only for them but for the world."
"If one more person becomes an actual whore, half of the human population will succumb to STDs," said Skye.
"And STIs," added Andrea.
"And ABCs," Lizzie added as well.
"I'm just so glad you stopped working there, Lizzie," said Madeline. "It really shows me how mature you've become."
"Thanks, Maddie."
"But even if you still worked there," started Andrea, "we know you would never become any of those girls there."
"Yeah, most of those girls were lifeless. I think some of them were zombies."
"Well, as long as you don't eat brains, we'll still be your friend," said Skye.
"Aw, thanks."
"So, Lucky, did you tell your parents what was going on at Tidbits?" asked Debra.
"Yeah, they were not too happy about it," Lucky answered. "But they're glad that I'm okay and I decided to quit."
"Well, that's good, Lucky."
"They're making me see a gynecologist though."
"Oh."
"Funny how we're all older than Lucky and she had more sex than us," said Skye. "I feel like an old lady."
Lucky giggled.
"I don't want to have sex anyway," shared Lizzie. "It sounds like it hurts."
"Oh, it does," said Lucky, slightly nodding. "Trust me. That's why they say it's important to do it with somebody you love."
"But I don't want to hurt them either."
"It doesn't hurt the guy, Lizzie," clarified Skye. "It will seem like it does but it really doesn't."
"So are you going to look for another job, Lizzie?" Madeline questioned.
"I already did," Lizzie replied.
"Please don't tell me it's at Hooters," said Andrea.
"It's not. It's actually Madeline's old job."
"You're working at the Pink Tee?" asked Madeline.
"Yep."
"I thought Penelope disliked you," Skye said.
"She does, but she needs somebody else working there. Do you know she's the only person there?"
"Yes," Madeline replied. "That's why I stopped working there. It was affecting my popularity."
"Yeah, right," said Skye, rolling her eyes.
"Anyway, it's good that you found another job. A good job."
"Yeah, but I was also thinking about having a job like yours, Maddie," shared Lizzie. "I always wondered what it's like to be a call girl."
Skye snickered before covering her face.
"I'm not a call girl, Lizzie," Madeline defended, feeling offended. "I'm a receptionist."
"What's the difference?" asked Lizzie.
"A receptionist is a person employed to answer the phone in an office and deal with clients," answered Skye. "And a call girl is liquorice that's red in one place."
Madeline laughed, falling into Skye's lap. Skye laughed, too, hugging Madeline by the neck. Andrea looked at Debra, who was shaking her head, and could not help but laugh.
"I don't get it," said Lucky.

Everybody Loves a Waitress (Chapter 4)

"I can't believe Lizzie works in here," shared Debra.
"I know," said Skye. "Why did you let this happen, Maddie?"
"Why did I let this happen?" Madeline repeated. "I didn't know she got a job when she got the job. She told us all about it at the same time."
"Yeah, but you could've stopped her. You're supposed to be the smart one."
"How are you gonna blame me? We're all here. You should blame yourself. We should all blame ourselves."
"Thanks for making me feel bad," said Debra.
"What kind of restaurant has a playroom?" inquired Skye. "This is like Fifty Shades of Grey, but with food."
"And I can't believe that waitress took that man into that room," said Andrea. "And he smelled like beef when he passed by."
"I think I'm going to be sick," said Madeline. "I gotta go to the bathroom. Anybody want to come with?"
"To watch you throw up?" asked Skye, crossing her arms. "I don't think so."
"Whatever." Madeline stood up. "I'll tie up my hair myself. I have a rubberband."
"Neat-O," Skye said sarcastically.
Madeline made her way to the girls' bathroom.
"Forgive me for my language but this place is trashy," said Debra, almost in a whispering tone.
"I'd never thought I would ever step foot in a brothel," shared Skye. "And it'd be disguised as an eatery."
"We should've saw it coming," said Andrea. "They called it 'an eatery'."
"Wow." Skye's eyes were in a different direction.
"I know. That was kinda corny."
"Not what you said. What I'm seeing right now."
"What are you seeing?" asked Debra.
"That girl over there."
Andrea and Debra looked where Skye was looking and found a waitress. She was a bit short and seemed younger than the other waitresses. She had short red hair and innocent blue eyes. She was talking to a customer with a big wad of bubblegum in her mouth.
"She's sixteen years old," Skye informed.
"How do you know?" questioned Andrea.
"Before we graduated, she was a freshman at our school. Her name is Lucky. She was in my programming class. That's a nerd class."
"So you're a nerd?"
"No, I just always wanted to understand coding. What I don't understand is how Lucky is working here."
"Oh, I feel like I'm in Taxi. Or Taxi Cab."
"It's Taxi Driver."
"Thank you."
Soon, Madeline came back with a stunned expression on her face.
"What's wrong, Barfie?" Skye asked her.
"Somebody's having sex in the bathroom," said Madeline in a slight deadpan voice.
"What?" said Debra.
"Are you sure it was the bathroom and not the playroom?" asked Andrea.
"Yes, I'm sure, Andrea," Madeline hissed. "There were toilets and sinks and a waitress waiting to give me mints or whatever she was going to give me."
"Why are people bonking in the bathrooms?" Skye questioned. "I know people do that all the time but there's a room where they can do that."
"They were also holes on the stalls."
"You know what? Let them bonk in the bathroom."
"Why are there holes?" asked Debra.
"They're for--"
"Don't tell her, Skye!" Madeline interrupted her.
"I'll tell you later," Skye whispered to Debra.
Lizzie arrived to the girls' table with a tray of food in each hand. "Here are your meals," she announced with a grin. She set them down on the table and started passing the plates.
"Lizzie!" Madeline called. She gave her a squeeze. "Just the girl we wanted to see."
Lizzie giggled. "Sorry I've been gone. I was busy waiting tables and getting your food."
"No, this is not the noodles and balls right now," said Skye, pointing at her plate. It was full of cooked spaghetti noodles with two big meatballs lined up on top. Projecting from between the meatballs was a long, ovoid-shaped pile of tomato sauce.
"Yeah, it is. That's how we make it for the girls."
"What if a guy asks for it?"
"Oh, instead of putting the sauce on the spaghetti like that, we put a drop of it on each of the meatballs."
Skye sighed. "Of course you do."
"Lizzie, do you know where you are right now?" asked Madeline.
"Uh, I'm at a restaurant called Tidbits," answered Lizzie. "I work here and wait tables. Like I'm not that dumb, you guys."
"Lizzie, this is more than just a restaurant," said Debra.
"It is?"
"This is a brothel."
"You mean, like soup?"
"Not a broth," said Andrea assertively. "A brothel. A whorehouse."
Lizzie looked around. "This doesn't look like a house."
"It doesn't matter, Liz'," said Madeline with her eyes closed. "The point is you need to stop working here."
"No way! This is my first job. I'm making money-cheddar."
Madeline opened her eyes. "It's money or cheddar. Do you know what that door is for?" She pointed at the door for the playroom.
"Yeah, that's the Night Owl room. It comes with the Night Owl Special."
"Yeah, but do you know what they do in that room?"
"Yeah, I heard there are toys in there. Funny how I never see any kids go in that room. I guess some adults still like to play with toys."
"So you never had to do anything... strange with a customer here?"
"No, not at all. But I was told if one of my customers ask for the Night Owl Special, I'm supposed to go in that room with them."
"Nuh-uh," uttered Debra, shaking her head. "Uh-uh, uh-uh. No, no. Lizzie, you don't want to go in that room."
"Yeah, especially right now," said Skye. "You ever stuck your Barbie doll in a blob of Play-Dough?"
"Yeah," Lizzie replied.
"That's what going on in that room."
"There's Play-Dough in there?"
"No, esta loca!" uttered Andrea, "This is a whorehouse, Lizzie! The waitresses are making whoopee with the customers here."
"Yeah, and if you keep working here, you're gonna be a hooker," added Skye.
"Oh, that don't sound like fun," said Lizzie with wide eyes.
"You know what?" asked Madeline. "I want to speak with the manager. Let me see your manager."
"Okay, I'll go get him." Lizzie walked off.
"Are you sure you want to speak with the manager?" asked Debra.
"Yeah," Madeline responded. "This is not what America is about. You can't just run things like this and think you're doing nothing wrong."
"Maybe they know they're doing something wrong," said Skye. "They're just doing it because they can."
"Well, I'm not going to stand for it."
Before long, Lizzie came back with a man. He had on black sunglasses over his eyes. He had short, brown hair and a five O'clock shadow. He even had on a navy blue suit.
"Oh, some fine girls looking for a job, I see," he said.
"Oh, no," said Madeline with her arms crossed. "We're not looking for a job."
"Then why are you here?"
"We were eating," answered Debra. "Or about to eat."
"Oh, I never really see any girls dine at this restaurant. But we are welcome to lesbians."
"We're not lesbians," clarified Madeline. "We all have boyfriends."
"Oh." The man looked at Lizzie. "Next time, get some straight guys to come here instead of straight girls."
Madeline chuckled. "No, there's not going to be a next time. Lizzie is not working here anymore."
"Why not? I need girls like her."
"No, you don't need girls like her. You want girls like Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman."
"I do want pretty women."
"I see, but you don't need Lizzie. She's a good girl."
"I know. She does a good job here. I expect her to do more, though."
"But see, she's not gonna do more because she's not working here anymore."
"Are you her mom?"
"I'm her best friend. Obviously."
"Then you don't speak for Lizzie, do you?"
"Excuse me, what's your name?" Andrea asked.
"I'm Butch, the general manager."
"Nice to meet you, Butch, the general manager. I don't want to sound rude but can you take off your Pitbull sunglasses so we can see eye-to-eye?"  
"Listen, you don't have to be here." Butch took off his glasses. He had a little bit of crow's feet coming in.
"Lizzie invited us here," Skye said.
"So why are you complaining?"
"You're running a whorehouse," Madeline replied.
"And?"
"And? And you should stop! It's illegal."
"Not really."
"Well, I can sue you. My dad has the money to do that."
"So you're just gonna rat me out? Don't be jealous of my success."
"Jealous? Butch, please! My life is way too pleasing for me to be jealous of you."
"Is that a titty cake?" asked Skye, standing up, looking at a customer's table.
"It's somebody's birthday," Butch responded.
"Ever heard of birthday cake?" asked Andrea.
"That's too boring."
"Look, I'm not gonna let you get away with this," said Madeline. "You're encouraging my best friend to be a floozy."
"Look, I get that you girls are tense," said Butch, putting his hands out. "I can fix that. Lucky!"
The waitress that the girls were eyeing earlier approached them.
"Take them to the Night Owl room," Butch told her.
Lucky put her hand on Andrea's arm but she flinched. "Girl," Andrea said, getting up. "You better back up or you gonna need another nose job."
Lucky made a face of confusion.
"Lucky, why are you working here?" asked Skye.
"Oh, hi, Skye," Lucky said. Her voice was a bit shaky. "I'm just making some money, that's all."
"For what? A fur coat?"
"Will you stop bullying my employee?" demanded Butch.
"I know your employee."
"Do you want to ruin the youthful population?" asked Madeline.
"Hey, these girls are at least eighteen or older," said Butch.
"Lucky is sixteen," corrected Skye.
"Well, she's almost eighteen."
"This is an outrage," said Madeline. "You're a sick man and I wouldn't mind if you got locked up."
"The nipples on the titty cake are candles," stated Skye.
"Do you know what society we are living in?" asked Butch. "Do you think anyone would listen to you? You're just a little girl."
"Hey, don't talk to my friend like that," ordered Andrea, walking towards Butch.
Debra got up. "Yeah, she's a smart woman," she added.
"A little boy is blowing out the candles," noted Skye.
"Madeline is more than a little girl," said Andrea. "She's more than the little girls you got running around here with their buttholes all out."
"Hey, the skirt on this uniform has the length of the average miniskirt," said Lucky, putting her hand on her hip.
"Yeah, in porn world."
"Listen, you guys obviously have a problem with my restaurant," said Butch. "So I suggest you get out or I'll make you get out."
Andrea glared at Butch. "Man, pfft!" She waved her hand over his face, faking a slap only to make him flinch, which worked. "I can escort myself out here. Muchas gracias."
"Whatever. Lizzie, your friends are obviously not going to eat so you should definitely clean all this up." Butch pointed at the girls' table, which was full of untouched food.
Lizzie glanced at the table then glanced at her friends. She looked right into her manager's eyes. "No," she said.
"I'm sorry. What?"
"I said no. I'm not going to clean that up because I don't work here anymore."
"You're quitting?"
"Yep. You know what? I was so elated to get a job. I didn't think anyone would hire me. But I rather be jobless than get hired for my looks and my coo-coo."
"Did she just say, 'coo-coo'?" asked Skye.
"If I stay here, my future is not going to look so bright. I'm so glad I have friends who care about me and are great influences to my life. So, yes, Butch, I'm quitting."
"Fine," said Butch, curling his lip. "I don't need you. You wear big underwear anyway."
"Hey, don't talk about my girl's underwear," Andrea demanded.
"Whatever." Butch rolled his eyes. "Just go."
The girls grouped together.
"We're on our way out," said Madeline.
"Wait!" said Lucky. "Can I come with you?"
"Lucky!" Butch called.
"I don't want to work here anymore. The Night Owl room is so scary. And the bathroom stalls have holes."
"Of course you can come with us, Lucky," said Skye.
"Lucky, you can't quit," said Butch.
Andrea lifted up Lucky and threw her over her shoulder. "She just did," Andrea said, holding onto Lucky's little legs. "You don't own her."
"You don't have to carry me," said Lucky, lifting her head up.
"Hey, I want to."
"See ya, Butch!" said Lizzie in a deep voice, putting up the peace sign.
The girls walked through the aisles towards the door.
"Can we hurry it up?" asked Debra. "Everyone is looking at us like dog food."
"Well, we are at a place full of dogs," said Madeline. "Dogs! All of you! Dogs!"
"You just love being the center of attention," said Skye.
The girls exit the restaurant with Andrea being the last out. Before she left, she turned around, swinging Lucky's body.
"Goodbye, girls of Tidbits," she declared. "I hope your dads are okay with this. And if you don't know your dads, they're probably here having beefcake."