BBF4E (Chapter 2)

Over the weekend, the girls invited their boyfriends to Madeline's condo. They didn't tell them what was going on so each of them came, thinking that they would be the only boyfriend there. By as the boyfriends came one by one on Saturday afternoon, they realized that what they thought wasn't true. They didn't even speak nor look at each other. They just sat on the furniture with their girlfriends. Jeffrey was the last boyfriend to come over and he was just as surprised as they were. The girls felt awkward about their silence but tried to make each of their boys stay.

"What's going on?" Kyle asked Debra. She was standing by the dining chair he was sitting in.

"Shh!" she shushed, putting her finger over her lips.

Madeline parted from her boyfriend and stood by the coffee table. "Welcome to my house," she announced. "Now it's twelve fifty-seven. The girls and I are going to the mall and we won't be back until four. This means you will stay here for three hours and three minutes until we get back."

Jeffrey stood up. "This is crazy," he said. "I can't stay here." He began to leave.

Skye jumped in front of him. "Stand in the place where you were!" she sang.

Obeying her command, Jeffrey backed up into his original spot, which was near a chair in the corner of the room.

"Anyway, you will use this time to hang out," Madeline continued. "You will share interests, tell jokes or whatever it is boys like to do. Since this is my condo, I will tell you when to use the bathroom. I will tell you when to have lunch. I'm gonna call Calvin to tell you guys when to do those things."

"I'm Calvin," he said, raising his hand.

"Are there any questions?"

Kyle raised his hand. "Yeah, does Hillary Clinton know that you raid her wardrobe?" he asked.

Debra lightly hit him on the shoulder.

"Very funny, Kyle," said Madeline. "Did you raid a hobo's closet? Oh, wait, hobos don't have closets because they're homeless. Silly me. Are there any real questions?"

Kyle raised his hand again. "Why do you got to hurt my feelings?"

"Listen, you guys better be in this living room when we come back. While you spend time together, maybe you can figure out who you really are. And don't turn on the TV. I know how you guys like to fight over what to watch and I will not have blood on my remote. It'll mess up the buttons. Let's head out, girls."

The girls picked up their purses and grouped together. Before the guys knew it, the girls left out the condo, speaking to one another. The living room was filled with absolute silence. Jeffrey sat back down on the comfy chair in the corner. The guys still didn't look at each other. Calvin and DeMarcus were at both ends of the couch and they didn't even pay each other any mind. Randall was sitting in a seat opposite Jeffrey while Kyle was sitting at the dining table, looking down at his boot-clad feet. After a little while, he put his head up and looked at the guys being stubborn mules. He was the first to break the silence.

"That Madeline has some attitude. She thinks she's the boss of everyone. She's not much of a boss."

"That's my girlfriend you're talking about," Calvin muttered.

Kyle looked at Calvin. "I'm sorry. I couldn't hear you."

Calvin looked at him, too, then looked away.

"Listen, if you're gonna talk to me, you gotta talk to me."

"I said that's my girlfriend you're talking about," Calvin said louder.

"I know she's your girlfriend. That doesn't mean she's not bossy."

"She isn't bossy."

"Oh, really? So she has never bossed you around?"

Calvin didn't answer. He just avoided eye contact with Kyle.

"Hello?"

"Leave him alone, man," DeMarcus demanded.

"Why? Am I bothering him?"

"Just cut it out."

"I was just asking him a question."

"Well, he doesn't want to answer it."

"Oh, my bad." Kyle put his hands up. "He probably doesn't like Madeline anyway."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, it's obvious. He's gay."

"I'm not gay," Calvin defended.

"Yeah, you are."

"No, I'm not."

"No boy wears shirts that bright."

Calvin looked down at his bright green collared shirt. "That doesn't mean anything."

"Oh, come on. You even sound like a girl. Just admit it, man; you're gay."

"Even if Calvin's gay, why does that matter?" asked DeMarcus.

"Dude, I'm not gay," said Calvin.

"Do you have anything against gay people?"

"No but Calvin clearly does since he doesn't want to admit it," said Kyle.

"Ain't nothing wrong with being gay. Gay people got great style, great advice and great personalities. They're awesome! You're just jealous because you ain't gay."

"I'm not gay either," said Calvin.

"Hey, you support the LGBT community," Kyle said to DeMarcus. "Good for you. You know, I should've expected the football star to defend the yearbook kid."

"What's your name again?"

"What's yours?"

"DeMarcus."

"DeMarcus. Is that even a real name?"

"If it's my name, then yes."

"Goodie."

"You know, I'm so glad you didn't come to dinner that other day because I would've wasted you."

"Totally?"

"Totally."

"Oh, I'm in a room with a bunch of idiots," Randall mumbled.

"You think you're so cool with your purple hair and your leather jacket," said DeMarcus. "But you ain't nothing."

"And you are?" asked Kyle.

"What"

"You said I ain't nothing. So you're nothing?"

 "No, that's not-- You're playing Twister with my words."

"Nothing said what?"

"What?"

"I thought so."

"You people are idiots!" said Randall.

"Stop playing tricks on my mind, man," DeMarcus demanded.

"Uh, no, I think that's you doing that to yourself."

"Screw you!"

"Screw you."

"I'm surrounded by idiots and nothing else," Randall said to himself.

"Hey!" Kyle looked at Randall "What are you babbling about?"

"I didn't want to be here. I don't want to be here. I thought I was going to have some intellectual time with Andrea but that's not happening now, is it? Now you got me listening to the most idiotic conversation I ever listened to. You're confusing DeMarcus with his own language because he said 'ain't nothing', which is a double negative. Now you got him malfunctioning like a broken robot. And it's all because you said Madeline is bossy. Even though you're right, I got to second that. Andrea is the bossiest person you could ever know. But when you put those two together, I can't even explain what could happen."

"Randy--"

"My name's not Randy."

"Andrea could boss a potato into a French fry. Madeline could try. Argument solved."

"You guys don't still have to talk about my girlfriend," said Calvin.

"Hey, your girlfriend was the most popular kid at school. People like her are meant to be talked about. I know your girlfriend knows this."

"It still isn't right."

"Not like you should care. You're gay."

"I'm not gay!"

All of a sudden, Jeffrey sneezed... loudly. Everyone looked at him. He looked at everyone back and wiped his nose with the back of his hand.

"I've seen you before, you know," said Kyle, pointing at him.

Jeffrey sniffled.

Ding-dong!

Calvin got up and so did Kyle. He stared him down until Calvin sat back down. Kyle walked over to the door and answered it. At the door was Sean, Skye's bandmate, who was in a pretty good mood.

"Hey," he greeted Kyle.

"Hey," Kyle said back. "Who are you?"

"That's Sean," replied Calvin. "He's in a band with Skye called A New Yesterday."

"You know, Jeffrey could've said that."

Calvin glanced at Jeffrey before looking into space.

"So whatcha want?" Kyle asked Sean.

"Oh, I'm here to spy on you," he answered.

"What?"

"Yeah, Madeline asked me to keep an eye on you guys and make sure that none of you leave."

"How could that be?" asked Calvin. "She said she was gonna call me to check up on us."

"I know. But she wanted me to stop by so none of you will lie for the other and stuff like that."

"Okay, then why don't you come in?" asked DeMarcus.

"Oh, Madeline forbade me to step foot in her home. So I'm just gonna watch you from the outside. I got binoculars."

"Oh, that's real rich," Randall muttered.

"Yep, so don't try to leave. And the girls said whoever tries to leave first is going to get broken up with. Hopefully, it'll be you, Calvin."

Calvin scrunched his eyebrows. "Aren't you dating Chrissy?" he questioned.

"Yeah but she's vacationing in Florida. I got some freedom before she comes back. So, yeah, try to leave." Sean disappeared into the hall.

Kyle closed the door and chuckled. "Looks like Sean is after your girlfriend, Calvin," he said.

"Madeline is not too fond of him," said Calvin, "so it's not like he's going to take her away from me."

"I mean, it is possible. He's straight."

"How many times do I got to say I'm not gay?!"

"Enough times that'll make you straight."

"I am straight!"

"Idiots," Randall whispered.