Not Meant to Sit on Babies (Chapter 5)

Still unsure what to do about Dallas' weeping, Lizzie laid him down in his crib. She told Debra that she and her brother had to be gone before her parents arrived. Therefore, Debra let Leroy know and the two were on their way out.
"Thank you for coming over, Debbie," said Lizzie, following her friend towards the door. "I really appreciate it."
"Hey, that's what friends are for," smiled Debra.
"Baby stuff?"
"Baby stuff."
"Ugh, Debra," whined Leroy. "I don't want to ride the tandem bike."
"Do you want to walk home?"
"No."
"Then you're getting on the bike."
"Ugh! Fine."
"Are you sure you don't want me to stay a bit longer?" Debra asked Lizzie.
"No," answered Lizzie. "My parents said that they would be here by nine. They also said to put Dallas to sleep by eight but it's past eight. So I don't want you to be here when my parents do what Abraham did and murder me."
"They're not going to murder you."
"You're right. They'll probably poison me in my sleep."
"Well, I pray that you don't get into trouble, Lizzie. So I might as well get going."
"Good night, Debra."
Debra opened the door. "Good night, Lizzie." She walked out.
"Good night, honeycakes," said Leroy before walking out.
"Bye, Leroy," Lizzie giggled.
Debra tugged Leroy by the ear before Lizzie closed the door. She sighed before walking up the stairs. She made her way to Dallas' room, speaking softly.
"Look, Dallas, I love you very much but you need to go to sleep. I know you don't really sleep after eight, but please do so for me. I don't know why you're crying and I feel like a bad sister for not knowing what's wrong with you. However, I would appreciate it if you stop and get some shut-eye. That means to shut your eyes."
Lizzie entered the room and caught Dallas still in his crib with his eyes closed. He was very quiet. She leaned over the crib to make sure she was seeing him correctly.
"Dallas, are you alive?" she asked.
He was softly snoring, his chest moving up and down.
"Oh, thank God." Lizzie put her hand on her chest. She then picked up the blanket in the corner of the crib and flattened it out over Dallas' body.
Lizzie later heard the door from downstairs opening and her parents chattering. She didn't want to look guilty of any sort so she ran over to the bookshelf and grabbed a random book. She sat down in front of Dallas' crib and opened the book. Her parents walked into the open door of the room and caught Lizzie reading the book in her hands.
"And then the prince and the princess lived happily ever after," she uttered. She closed the book and looked up at her parents. "Oh, hey, mom and dad," she said softly. "I was just reading Dallas a long story."
"I can see," Lizzie's mother said, walking further into the room.
Lizzie stood up and hid the book behind her back.
Her mother peeked into the crib. "Was Dallas any trouble?" she asked.
"Oh, not at all," Lizzie answered, shaking her head. "We had tons of fun. We played around; it was good. I fed him and changed his diaper. It was easy, breezy, beautiful Cover Girl."
"Well, I'm glad that you handled everything, Lizzie."
Lizzie's father put his arm around his wife. "Yeah, I'm so proud of you," he said. "Maybe you should babysit more often."
Lizzie giggled. "Oh, you don't have to."
"No, I insist."
Lizzie frowned. "Well, don't."
"Okay... Well, I guess we should let our little boy sleep."
"I know I need some shut-eye," shared Lizzie's mom.
"Then let's go shut our eyes," suggested Lizzie.
Her parents smiled at her before walking out of the room. Lizzie slowly began exiting the room. When she was at the door, she turned around and whispered, "Good night, Dallas". She turned off the light and closed the door. As she walked through the hallway, she muttered to herself, "Now where are my car keys?"

Not Meant to Sit on Babies (Chapter 4)

Lizzie put Dallas in his high chair in the kitchen. She took out all of the food meant for Dallas and attempted to feed it to him. But he resisted the food as he continued to wail. His eyes were closed shut as tears streamed down his face. Lizzie tried to stick her spoon of baby food in his mouth but he just kept crying and crying and crying.
"Come on, Dallas," Lizzie begged. "You're a baby; you need to eat to live. Look at me; look at how yummy this food is." Lizzie dipped the spoon in her mouth, consuming all the mush on it. When she took the spoon out, she started to gag. She hastily looked for the trashcan and when she found it, she spit everything in her mouth into the can. She wiped her mouth with her arm and walked back to the crying Dallas. "See, it's good. That was good."
Dallas opened his eyes but he was still crying strongly.
Debra was on the other side of Dallas, witnessing Lizzie's failed attempts to feed her brother. "Lizzie, I don't think he wants to eat this," she said.
"I know, but he has got to stop crying," said Lizzie.
"He's crying because you dropped him on the floor."
"I didn't drop him on the floor. The couch dropped him on the floor. I was with you, 'member?"
"Look, maybe he hit his head." Debra began massaging Dallas' head with both hands. "Shhh," she hushed. "It's okay. Just relax. Shhh..."
It wasn't working; Dallas continued to cry.
"I don't think he likes that," Lizzie shared.
"Well, I don't know what's wrong with him."
"Maybe he wants his milk." Lizzie rushed over to the refrigerator and opened it right up. She grabbed the half-full pitcher of milk and set it on the table. She grabbed a glass from the cabinet and a straw from the drawer. She stuck the straw in the glass before pouring the milk in. "Ew, ew, ew, ew," she said while she poured the milk. Lizzie pushed the glass towards Dallas when she was done.
"Lizzie, he can't drink the milk like that," said Debra.
"You're right; he doesn't know straws work yet." She searched through the cabinets until she found a baby bottle. She took off the nipple and poured the milk from the glass into the bottle. "Ew, ew, ew, ew," she said as she poured the milk. She stuck the nipple back on and pushed the bottle in Dallas' direction.
Dallas kept crying so Lizzie pushed the bottle even closer. Debra snatched the bottle and tried to force it in Dallas' mouth.
"Come on, Dallas," she pleaded. "Drink the milk-y. Come on, you love milk, don't you?"
Dallas resisted from the bottle, still wailing.
"Why won't he drink it?" asked Debra.
"Because he's not hungry," responded Lizzie.
"I know that!"
Lizzie gasped. "Let's ask the kids if they know what to do."
"Lizzie, they're kids."
"But they're all we have!"
Lizzie lifted Dallas from his high chair and carried him out of the kitchen with Debra following them. They walked into the living room where the kids were spending their time. Leroy was sitting next to Linda on the couch while Krista was sitting in one of the chairs.
"Are you comfy, baby?" questioned Leroy, putting his arm around Linda.
"I'm not your baby," she said.
"So, baby, I was wondering if you want to be my date for the homecoming dance at my school."
"Um, no thanks. I'm not even allowed to date yet."
"Oh, that's okay. There will be chaperones there so they'll keep a good eye on us. But they'll never check the bathrooms."
He began to laugh but Linda pinched Leroy on his arm, making him fling it away from her shoulders.
"Ow!" he uttered, clutching his arm.
"Hey, guys," said Debra, coming closer to the kids. "Do you want to do us girls a favor?"
"Of course, if it involves being away from Leroy," responded Linda.
"That's nice. Um, we were wondering if you three know anything about making a baby stop crying."
"Uh, what do I look like?" asked Leroy. "The baby whisperer?"
"I heard if you sing to a baby, it calms it down," shared Krista.
"Oh, that makes sense," said Lizzie, bouncing Dallas in her grip. "But neither of us can sing."
"Hey, I can sing some Blackstreet," said Leroy while looking at Linda.
"I don't know who that is," she admitted.
"Listen, we are desperate to shut Dallas up," said Lizzie. "It's worth a try."
"I can try to sing to him," said Krista. "I love to sing."
"Oh, please, Krista." Lizzie walked over to her and handed the baby right over.
Krista held Dallas in her arms and began singing softly and sweetly to him.

The snow glows white on the mountain tonight
Not a footprint to be seen
A kingdom of isolation
And it looks like I'm the queen

Suddenly, the baby started to calm down and listen to Krista's saccharine voice. He opened his bright, brown eyes and looked at Krista's flawless face. Lizzie and Debra looked at each other in amazement. When Krista wrapped up her singing, Lizzie carefully took Dallas from her arms. She began holding him and rocking him.
"Oh, my goodie!" said Lizzie. "He stopped crying."
"Wow, Krista, that was really good," commented Debra.
Krista scrunched her forehead. "Good?" She stood up. "What do you mean, good? I was amazing!" She started tearing up and her voice was quivering. "Why doesn't anyone love my singing?" She zipped past the girls and ran upstairs.
Lizzie motioned her eyes to Debra. "What was that about?" she asked in a low voice.
"She's very sensitive about her talent," explained Linda.
For some reason, Dallas started wailing again. Lizzie glanced at him and sighed. Everyone else started to get frustrated.

For an hour, Dallas did nothing but cry. Lizzie and Debra ran out of solutions to make him stop sobbing. They were too tired to even come up with more solutions. They just sat beside the stairs, leaning against the wall. Dallas was in Lizzie's hands, wailing his head off. They could hear Linda and Leroy arguing upstairs somewhere. They just looked like suicidal vagrants.
"Are we going to be bad parents?" asked Lizzie, almost in a mumble.
"I don't know, Lizzie," answered Debra.
"Well, do you think I'm a bad sister?"
"Of course not."
"Then why can't I stop Dallas from crying?"
"Because you're like Sugar Kane: you're not that bright."
"So because I'm not a light or a stick of sugar, Dallas won't stop crying?"
"Whatever you want, Lizzie."
"Thank you for helping me."
"I wish I wasn't."
"You're supposed to be good at calming people down."
"Well, I can't do everything!"
"Sorry."
"No, I'm sorry. Are you sure he doesn't have a pacifier?"
"He does; I just can't find it anywhere."
"At least I don't have a headache."
"Yeah, lucky you."
Ding-dong! The doorbell rang. Lizzie stood up and carried Dallas in her arms. She walked over to the door and opened it. At the door was Andrea, who took a step inside.
"Andrea, what are you doing here so early?" Lizzie questioned.
"My date was horrific," answered Andrea. "I threw up on him."
  "Oh, no! Were you sick?"
"No, I just felt throwing up on him. He was a complete nightmare. I guess I'll go back to fantasizing about Randall."
"You do that."
Andrea then noticed her other friend. "Oh, hey, Debra."
Debra stood up. "Hey, Andy." She waved at her.
"I didn't know Debra was here."
"Oh, yeah, she was helping me with Dallas," said Lizzie.
"Well, thank God for Debra. So I guess I'm going to take my sisters and head on out now."
Soon, Linda came running down the stairs, shown to be chased by Leroy.
"You are disgusting!" Linda said to him.
"It was only a joke," said Leroy.
"You," Andrea hissed at Leroy.
Leroy looked like a deer caught in headlights when Andrea darted after him. She was stopped by Lizzie; Debra shielded her brother. Linda stood back, really wanting Andrea to do something to him.
"I can't believe you're here!" Andrea shouted. "If I knew you were here, I would've left my sisters at home."
"Calm down, honey sauce," said Leroy.
"Oh, I'll show you honey sauce." Andrea struggled in Lizzie's one-arm grip.
"Guys!" Lizzie shouted. "Not in front of the baby."
"Krista, get down here!" called Andrea. She gave Leroy a threatening look while pointing at him.
Krista rushed down the stairs when she heard her sister's voice. Andrea grabbed Krista by the face.
"Did that boy hurt you?" asked Andrea.
"No," answered Krista, freeing herself.
"Let's go." Andrea put her arms around her little sisters and proceeded to go out the door. She turned her head at Leroy and said, "I better not catch you in the streets."
"I ain't do nothing," he said.
"I'm still gonna get you." She left the house with her siblings.

Not Meant to Sit on Babies (Chapter 3)

After Debra arrived, she and Lizzie decided to spend time with Dallas in the living room. Debra was holding Dallas, making him stand up on the couch cushions. While Lizzie was making funny faces and tickling Dallas, she heard the doorbell ring.
"Who could that be?" she asked.
"Did you order pizza or something?" asked Debra.
"No, I don't think so."
"How can you not remember?"
"I don't know. Look, just in case it is, can you go get my wallet from my room?"
"Sure." Debra got up and ran upstairs.
The doorbell rang again.
"Coming!" Lizzie shouted. She placed Dallas on the back corner of the seat so he wouldn't be too close to the edge.
She ran out of the living room into the lobby to get to the door. She opened it, revealing Andrea outside with her two younger sisters by her side.
"Hey, Andrea!"
"Hey, Lizzie," Andrea responded.
        "What are you doing here?"
"Oh, I got this date with Niles Hawkins from the gym where I box."
"I thought you like Randall."
"Uh, please, Randall is not going to ask me out for dinner, especially any time soon."
"I guess that's true. But why are you here?"
"See, my parents decided to go on a date on the same day as my date so I need somebody to watch Linda and Krista. And Linda recommended that we should go to you. Is that okay? I mean, do you think your parents will mind?"
"My parents aren't here."
"Fantastic." Andrea pushed her two sisters inside the house. "I'll be back in about two hours, girls. If I don't come back by then, that means I'm having a better time than I expected."
"Do you mean that sexually?" asked Krista, the thirteen-year-old sister.
"Goodbye, girls." Andrea closed the door as she left.
"Bye!" Lizzie screamed, being an inch away from the door. She then looked down at the girls, who looked like tiny clones of Andrea. "So how are you girls doing?" she grinned.
"Good," answered Krista.
"I'm passing math," Linda added, smiling and holding her hands from behind.
"Oh, terrific!" said Lizzie. "I can never undertake those triangles. Do they all have to be one-hundred-eighty degrees?"
Debra slowly walked down the steps with a red, patent wallet in her hand. She stopped in the middle. "Where's the pizza guy?" she asked.
"Oh, that wasn't a pizza guy. It was Andrea and she was dropping her sisters off. Ooh, I forgot to tell her you were here."
Debra giggled awkwardly as she continued to walk down the stairs. "Uh, Lizzie, are you sure you can take care of all these kids?"
"Of course, Debs. I'm a grown adult. Besides, these kids can take care of themselves and you're here with me so nothing can really go wrong."
Suddenly, a thud was heard. The four girls motioned their eyes to the living room and made their way towards it. On the floor by the couch was Dallas, on his back, crying. The girls gasped.
"That's a baby!" said Krista with raised eyebrows.
Lizzie moaned and picked up Dallas, bouncing him gently in her arms.
"Why did you leave the baby by himself?" asked Debra.
"I don't know," said Lizzie. "I didn't think he was going to fall off the couch."
"This is what I was afraid of." Debra took a good look at Dallas.
Leroy walked out of the kitchen with a sandwich on a plate. He entered the living room, stopping behind the girls. "What is all that noise?" he asked. He started to notice Linda, who happens to be his crush. "Oh, hey, sweet thing," he said to her.
Linda slowly turned around, not wanting to see Leroy. "Oh, no," she said.
"Oh, yeah."
Krista said, "Oh, God."
Debra said, "Oh, frick."
And Lizzie said, "Oh, baby!"

Not Meant to Sit on Babies (Chapter 2)

    As the evening approached, Lizzie's parents prepared themselves for dinner. Lizzie's mother put on a flowy, black dress that went down to her ankles with black booties and golden earrings. Lizzie's father put on a black suit with a blue shirt and tie underneath with black dress shoes. After her mother got her black crossbody purse, Lizzie followed her parents as they made their way towards the door.
    "All of Dallas' things are in his room," reminded Lizzie's mother, "so make sure you check the closet."
    "Okay," said Lizzie.
    "But his diapers are in the bathroom so make sure you check there, too."
    "Okay, mom."
    "And make sure he's in his crib asleep by eight because after eight, he's a disaster."
    "I'll make sure, mom."
    "But make sure he eats dinner. Only feed him the baby food and milk in the fridge. You know his teeth are still coming out."
    "Okay, mom. I think it's time for you to go to dinner now."
    "Oh, we're just a little worried, that's all," said Lizzie's father.
    "There's nothing to be worried about, dad."
    "Are you sure because you got caught in a fan once."
    "I eventually got out. Okay, you and mom need to go. Like, right now. I'm going to take good care of your child."
    "Huh, that's what someone says when they're about to kill them."
    "Okay, out. You two, out." Lizzie opened the door for her parents.
    "Alright," said Lizzie's mother. "Just don't forget to kiss him good night."
    "I won't. Goodbye, mom and dad."
    "Goodbye. We'll be back by nine."
    "Bye, Lizzie," said her dad.
    Once her parents stepped out the door, Lizzie closed it and locked it. She turned around and started dancing like a fool. She ran upstairs and went inside Dallas' room, who was up and smiling in his crib.
    "Hello, my beautiful bug," said Lizzie, leaning over the bed. "Mom and dad are out of the house which means we're going to have so much fun. Are you ready to have fun with me?" She bent down and looked at Dallas through the wooden bars of the crib.
    Dallas babbled with a smile and hit the bars as if he was trying to get her face.
    "Sounds good enough to me!"
    For a while, Lizzie watched Dallas, trying to play and communicate with him. She would take many pictures with him with her cell phone. Other times, she would hug and kiss him like a precious teddy bear. She enjoyed making Dallas laugh and stay interested in her.
    Eventually, she started to get a little bored. So she decided to make a call with one of her girlfriends. She picked Debra and started dialing her number. Lizzie took off her tan sweater while listening to the phone ring. Soon, Debra picked up.
    "Hello," her calm voice projected from the phone.
    "Hey, girlfriend," Lizzie said to her phone.
    "Hey. How are you?"
    "I'm good. I'm having an awesome time with my brother, Dallas."
    "That's wonderful."
    "And guess what: my parents are letting me babysit him."
    "Oh, are they sick?"
    "No, they're not sick. They wanted to go to a romantic dinner together so I told them that I'd be more than glad to watch Dallas for them."
    "Oh, that's nice."
    "Well, I'm a nice person. The fact that I'm watching Dallas means that I'm growing up. I can't wait to do more grown-up things like vote. I am so excited."
    "That's good for you, Liz'. Um, are you sure that you can handle watching Dallas all by yourself?"
    "Uh, yeah. That's why I asked to do so."
    "Yeah, I don't know. Do you want me to come over?"
    "Ooh, so we can hang out?"
    Debra paused. "Yeah."
    "Oh, perfect! Now Dallas will have two girls to play with. The more, the merrier!"
    "Sure, Lizzie. I'll see you in twenty minutes, okay?"
    "Okay. Byesies."
    "Byesies."
    Lizzie hung up and looked at Dallas, who was chewing on the red rubber toy he was holding.
    "Dallas, hammers are not food," she said.

    More than twenty minutes later, Debra arrived to Lizzie's house. She rang the doorbell so Lizzie could come down and answer the door. She took Dallas with her before opening the door to Debra and her younger brother, Leroy.
    "Hey, Debs," Lizzie smiled. "Hey, Leroy."
    "What's up, honeycakes?" Leroy greeted her before walking in.
    "Ooh, I'm honeycakes now." Lizzie closed the door after Debra came into the house. "What is Leroy doing here?"
    "Oh, when my dad heard I was going out, he wanted me to take Leroy with me," answered Debra.
    "We rode here on a tandem bike," noted Leroy.
    "I've always wanted to use that bike."
    "It was tiring."
    "It was saving the environment."
    "Well, I guess it's good that Leroy is here," said Lizzie. "The more people to play with Dallas, the better!"
    "Hey, I don't play with no babies," said Leroy. "I'm a grown man."
    "You won't be a man in, like, seven years," reminded Debra.
    "A boy can start! So, honeycakes, got any food?"
    "Use your manners and Lizzie has a name."
    "Fine! Lizzie, can I please have some food?"
    "Sure," replied Lizzie, "the kitchen is through the door by the stairs. And don't eat the baby food in the fridge or the milk."
    "Uh, that won't be a problem." Leroy made his way to the kitchen.
    "Thanks, Debra, but I don't mind being called 'honeycakes'. It's such a fun name!"

Not Meant to Sit on Babies (Chapter 1)

    On a Saturday night, the girls were over at their own homes. They found ways to chill by themselves, such as Lizzie spending time with her baby brother, Dallas. She hung out in his room, in her peasant-like clothing, leaning over the crib, talking to him. Dallas was almost a year old and knew how to take a few steps but did not know how to speak. He had big, brown eyes just like his sister and was growing out dark brown hair.
    Lizzie tickled Dallas's body, which was covered in a baby blue onesie, with her decoratively-manicured finger. Dallas giggled, bearing his toothless mouth. Lizzie babbled baby talk at him, which he didn't quite understand yet Lizzie thought he did.
    "You're such a cutie pie! Who's a cutie pie? You're a cutie pie! I could just eat you up... but that would be cannibalism. Can you say 'cannibalism'? Cannibalism! Oh, you're so cute. Yes, you are!"
    Lizzie's four-eyed parents walked in and witnessed their daughter communicating with their young son.
    "You are in love with him, Lizzie," said her mother.
    "I don't think I'll ever stop being in love with him," admitted Lizzie, not taking her eyes off of her brother. "He's just so adorable."
    "You know, one day, he's gonna grow up."
    "Oh, I know. I dread that day."
    "Who knows when that day will come?" asked Lizzie's dad. "He hasn't even said a word yet."
    "I know, right? That's why I always have conversations with him so he'll feel encouraged to talk back."
    "I don't think he knows what you've been saying, Lizzie."
    "Drats. At least I know what I've been saying."
    Lizzie's mother walked over to the crib, prompting Lizzie to move aside, and picked up the giggling baby. "Hello!" she said to him in a sweet voice. "Is your diaper messy?"
    "No, mom, I don't wear diapers anymore."
    "I wasn't talking to you," Lizzie's mother said in her normal voice. She went back to Dallas. "What will I feed you tonight?"
    "Well, I was kinda hoping that we go to dinner but by ourselves," said Lizzie's father.
    "I wasn't talking to you either."
    "No, I'm serious. There's this new restaurant a few blocks away and I was wondering if we could have dinner, just the two of us."
    "Oh, I don't know, Joseph. Ever since Dallas has been born, I was always by his side."
    "Come on, Marie. We haven't had any alone time in a while. Don't you think we should celebrate being such lovely parents?"
    "I suppose so. But how are we going to find a babysitter at a time like this?"
    "I can go on that website full of babysitters."
    "Or I could watch Dallas," suggested Lizzie.
    "No, I think the website would be fine."
    "Come on, mom and dad. I could totally watch Dallas while you two are gone."
    "Lizzie, dear Lizzie," started her mom. "How can I say this nicely? I... don't really trust... you to be alone... with the baby."
    "Saying that sentence slowly was being nice?"
    "Listen, sweetie, I know you're kinda an adult but I don't think you're responsible enough to take care of Dallas."
    "How can you say that? I spent many times alone with Dallas."
    "Yeah, but that happens when your dad and I are home." Lizzie's mother set Dallas gently back in his crib.
    "But sometimes, you're downstairs and me and Dallas would be upstairs. Do you know how far away this room is from the kitchen and living room?"
    "You're not convincing me, Lizzie."
    "Please, mom! I'll read those books on how to take care of a baby. And besides, I have watched a bunch of television that shows how to do it as well. I basically know how to change a diaper and put a baby to sleep without doing any of that."
    "What kind of T.V. shows have you been watching?"
    "Mom! Dad, don't you think I can take care of Dallas?"
    "Gee, I don't know, sweetie," said Lizzie's dad. "You're kind of forgetful."
    "Yeah, and you always can't find your car keys," agreed Lizzie's mom.
    "Mom, dad, that was the old me," said Lizzie. "That's the problem: you dwell on the past and can't let it go. But you guys got to trust me; I am so much more mature than I was like... five days ago. And besides, do you really think I would let anything happen to my baby brother?"
    "I don't believe so."
    "Then please give me a chance. Please! Pretty please."
    Lizzie's mother looked at her husband for reconciliation. He shrugged and she nodded.
    "Alright, we're gonna let you babysit Dallas tonight," decided Lizzie's mom.
    "Yay!" cheered Lizzie.
    "But if anything happens, this will be the last time you babysit Dallas. You understand me?"
    "Yes, I understand you. Loud and cuh-lear. Thank you!"
    "Alright," said Lizzie's father. "We've got ourselves a date." He wrapped his arm around his wife's shoulders and led her out the door.
    Lizzie squealed and smiled at Dallas over the crib. "Did you hear that, Dallas?" she asked. "I'm going to be babysitting you tonight! I am so excited. We're gonna have so much fun together. Oh, I have to find those baby books that mom owns. But before I do that, I got to go figure out where my car keys are."