Beach Babes (Chapter 4)

After waiting for her friends to come back, which they never did, Debra put on a sheer kimono over her orange bikini. She began to wander the beach, people-watching and looking for any adrift seashells. Then she found an area where surfboards were being held up. There were a few surfboards on the racks but a yellow one with a black paisley pattern caught Debra's eye. She began running her fingers on the smooth board.
"Can I help you?" asked a man. He was in his early twenties with long, curly blonde hair like Madeline's. The young man was wearing a sleek, black bodysuit. Debra backed away when he picked up the yellow, paisley surfboard and carried it with one arm.
"Oh, sorry about that," said Debra. "I was just admiring your board."
"Well, thank you," said the man, scanning the surfboard in his arms. He had a strong valley accent. "This used to be my grandma's board."
"Your grandma used to surf?"
"Oh, yeah. She was the it girl for surfing in Laguna Beach back in the sixties. I like to think I got some of her surfing blood in me."
"Well, that's nice to hear."
"Do you surf?"
"Oh, no. I mean, I used to but not anymore."
"Why not?"
"Well, I had been surfing ever since I was eleven. When I was fourteen, I went to catch some waves and gone too far into the ocean. The waves crashed over me and while I was in the water, I saw a shark. I knew sharks were big but this shark was too big. It went after me and luckily I swam away. But my board didn't. I assumed it was a sign that I should never surf again. So since that day, I never surfed."
"Never surfed? Dude, you should never say never."
"I know but I can't surf again. Even if I wanted to, I don't have a board."
"You can buy one."
"I don't have the money for it. Besides, it's been so long. I probably don't know how to surf anymore."
"Dude, surfing is not in the head. It's in the heart. If you knew how to surf, you'll always know how to surf. It doesn't leave like an alcoholic father. It sticks with you like a ghost who died in your house."
"O-Okay."
"Listen, I was once a kid like you once."
"I don't think I'm any younger than you."
"Just hear me out. When I was a youth, I really wanted to surf but I was so scared. But my old man said, 'Just listen to the waves. Do you hear 'em? You hear how they go whoosh-whoosh? Just listen to the waves and become 'em, man.' So that's what I did; I went into the water and heard the whoosh. I didn't hear the whoosh-whoosh but I heard the whoosh. Then a wave came up and it was like, shhh-whirl. Then another was like, wha-wha-whirl. And I was so fascinated that I stood up and just listened to the whoosh-whirl. And I rode that wave like a bull. I could hear the shh-whoosh and the shh-ahh. I was like, 'Whoa, this wave is pretty crazy, bruh.' I could feel the water over my head like shh-ahh. Then the wave went down on me like ah-baa, baah! And when I got back on my board, I heard the whoosh-whoosh. It was such an amazing feeling. Do you understand what I'm trying to say?"
"For some reason, I think I do. And I'm getting excited."
"Yeah! That's what I'm talking about. So you think you'd want to surf again?"
"Yeah but ... like I said, I don't have a board. I really think I'm never going to surf again."
"Okay, quit saying 'never'. It grinds the gears in my ears. Use my board." The young man stood his surfboard up.
"Oh, no, I can't do that."
"Yes, you can. It's only for one day. It's better to surf one day than to never surf at all. And when you get old enough to afford a board, you can start catching waves again."
Debra took the surfboard from him. "Thank you so much. But I don't think I can do it."
"Hey, just listen to the whoosh-whoosh, man. You'll know what you're doing from there."
"Oh, gosh, thank you. Sorry for not asking earlier but what is your name?"
"My name is the Magician." The young man threw his arms in the air.
"Really?"
"Well, my real name is Carl but I prefer to be called the Magician."
"Then, thank you, the Magician." Debra grinned at him.

Meanwhile, Madeline and Lizzie were off to the side of the beach with Mat and Stefan. They were using water guns that the boys brought with them to play with. They ran around in circles, spraying each other with water. The four were having a good time, laughing and shielding themselves with their hands.
While they were busy having so much fun, Skye showed up, witnessing the whole thing. She rolled her eyes, shook her head and approached Madeline. Skye snatched the gun from Madeline's hands and used it to spray her in the face. The boys and Lizzie ceased when they saw Skye interfering.
Madeline wiped her faces and gave Skye an infuriated look. "Skye, I have makeup on!" she yelled.
"Who wears makeup to the beach?" asked Skye.
"Those who slay."
"Enough with the slaying crap. Who are these guys?"
"That's Mat and that's Stefan."
"Why are you hanging out with them?"
"Because you were gone."
"I was trying to take pictures of the girl trying to get the jellyfish off her leg."
"Then why did it take you so long?"
"You should've seen her friends trying to 'help' her."
"That's gross, Skye."
"Okay, I'll admit it. It's gross; I'm not ashamed. But what's really gross is you and Lizzie hanging out with Mat and Steven."
"It's Stefan," he corrected.
"It's Steven, okay?"
"What's wrong with making new friends?" asked Madeline.
"You guys know that you have boyfriends. Faithful boyfriends."
"We're not cheating on them."
"Yeah, I thought girls and boys can be friends without making out with each other," said Lizzie.
"They can but let me ask the boys," said Skye. "Mat? Steven?"
"It's Stefan," he corrected again.
"Whatever. Do you want to be friends with Maddie and Lizzie?"
"Absolutely," answered Mat. "Why wouldn't we?"
"Yeah, they're hot," added Stefan.
Lizzie gasped.
"Was that too much?"
"See what I mean?" Skye asked the girls.
"Friends can think that their friends are hot," said Madeline. "Hey, Lizzie, you're hot."
"Why thank you, Maddie," said Lizzie, smiling.
"Now tell me I'm hot."
"Why? You tell yourself that every day."
"You do know these girls have boyfriends, right?" Skye asked the boys.
"Now we do," Mat replied.
"So you care?"
Mat shook his head. "No, not at all."
"Nope," said Stefan.
"I stand corrected," said Skye. "Come on, girls, let's go back to our friends."
"Wait, wait," commanded Mat. "So what if you guys have boyfriends? We can at least try to be friends."
"Okay," said Lizzie, smiling.
Skye interlocked her arm with Lizzie's arm and used her other arm to do the same thing with Madeline.
"No, Lizzie," said Skye. "These guys are bad news."
"You don't even know us," said Stefan.
"Is that an Iron Maiden T-shirt? Do you actually listen to them or are you wearing that shirt because it's 'fashionable'?"
"I listen to Iron Maiden."
"Your Mohawk says you're right but your mandals say you're lying."
Stefan gave Skye a quick squirt in the face with his water gun. Infuriated, Skye sprayed Stefan incessantly in the hair. He did his best to block himself from the endless stream of water.
"Stop!" he ordered. "You're messing up my hair!"
"'Stop, you're messing up my hair'," Skye mocked him. She dropped the water gun on the ground. "Come on, guys. Let's go."
"What about our shaved ice?" asked Lizzie.
"You can get it later."

Embarrassment Town (Chapter 4)

  "Thank you, girls, for being my bridesmaids," said Madeline's aunt, Cherise.
 "It's not like you have any real friends," Madeline's cousin, Veronique, muttered loud enough for the girls to hear. Madeline nudged her on the arm, causing Veronique to glare at her.
 "I can't believe how nervous I am," said Cherise. She was wearing a white, lacy, French ball gown, something that a princess would wear for her wedding. Her face was caked with makeup and she was holding a bouquet of blue flowers.
 "Don't be nervous," assured Madeline. "You look great... sorta. And you're gonna be fine. You're getting married."
 "I know."
 "Then keep knowing."
 "What are you? Gandhi?" asked Jeanne, Madeline's other cousin.
 Veronique snickered. "I know, right?" she said.
 Madeline squinted her eyes at her cousins. Suddenly, they all heard music playing. It was a violin-influenced version of "Here Comes the Bride".
 "Oh, that's your cue," whispered Cherise. She put her long veil over her face. "Go, go."
 The bridesmaids assembled in a line. Veronique was first, Jeanne was second and Madeline was third. They looked like sisters in their matching blue gowns. And they were all holding little bouquets of white roses. Out of nowhere, the handsome groomsmen came out and picked a partner. Steadily, Veronique entered the chapel, arm-in-arm with her groomsman.
 "How you doin'?" she whispered to him, smirking.
 The young groomsman smirked back at her. Veronique moved her head around so her long, red locks could bounce all over the place. Walking down the aisle, she continued to seduce her partner, only with her little emeralds for eyes.
 Jeanne walked steadily down the aisle with her groomsmen, avoiding eye contact with each other. She was too young for him anyway. The groomsman had to be in his thirties, making her at least ten years younger than him. Jeanne just moved her blue eyes to the kaleidoscopic windows of Jesus Christ. She used her free hand to fix her lustrous, brown hair.
 Then it was Madeline's turn. Interlocked with her groomsman, she walked down the aisle, yards away from Jeanne. She held her head high and simpered at everybody in the wooden pews. Nothing pestered her until the groomsman she was with accidentally stepped on her foot.
 "Ow!" she yelled, leaping. "Watch where you're going," she whispered to the groomsman.
 "I'm sorry," he said.
 "You should be."
 Madeline tried to continue to walk with confidence. But her foot hurt so much that she was practically limping. She continued to smile, hoping her big, white grin would distract the attendants from her weird bunny-like hopping. Madeline's partner did his best to be careful walking with her. But just when they were feet away from the minister, Madeline stepped on the foot of her partner.
 "Ow!" he yelled.
 Madeline gasped. "Sorry," she said.
 "You should be."
 "Don't get snippy!" Madeline pushed herself away from the groomsman, tripping and tumbling onto the floor.
 Almost everyone in the pews gasped when they saw Madeline fall. She lifted herself up and regained her balance.
 "I'm okay, people," she announced, throwing her hands up. "I'm okay." She giggled awkwardly before pulling the groomsman to her side. "Get over here," she muttered.

 After the ceremony, everybody headed to the reception. It took place at a hotel that was ten minutes from the church. The reception was held in the biggest ballroom in the world. Newlyweds Cherise and Simon, who had to be twenty years older than her, were the first ones to be there. Everyone else who entered were astonished by the white curtains and tablecloths with silver dishes and chandeliers. However, what caught Madeline's attention was the ten-foot stand clothed in white with a long table on top right across from her.
 She approached her aunt. "Auntie, what is that?" Madeline asked, pointing at the shocker.
 "Oh, you know how in England, people have high tea?" Cherise asked. "Well, I like to call this 'high reception'."
 "That's not a thing."
 "Well, I made it a thing."
 "Please don't tell me we have to sit on that."
 "Fine, I won't tell you... but we are."
 Madeline scoffed. "All of us?"
 "No, just me, Simon, the bridesmaids, the groomsmen, my parents and my siblings."
 "Can I sit somewhere in these tables? These are nice tables. They're low, they're regular tables."
 "No, Madeline. Why don't you want to sit with me? Are you afraid of heights?"
 "Yes! I'm afraid of heights and if I get up there, I'll die. Or have a nose bleed."
 Cherise giggled. "Oh, Madeline, the stand is a hundred percent safe. It's sturdy enough to hold fifty Sumo wrestlers."
 "Are you making that up?"
 "Yes. Now stop being a Grinch." Cherise walked off to be with her new husband.
 Before Madeline knew it, everybody assigned to sit at the high table was making their way towards it. From afar, she can see them climbing up a ladder on the side of the stand. Seeing that ladder chilled Madeline to the bone. Her eyes were popping out of her head and she gulped so loud that she heard it echo. With hesitation, she began walking towards the stand.
 "Come on, Madeline!" shouted Cherise from the top.
 Everyone sat in their seats with some of them watching Madeline from the bottom. She examined the ladder like it was an X-ray of a broken bone. She could hear her heart thumping as she grabbed onto the cold, steel bars. Little by little, Madeline climbed up the ladder, staring hard at the bars.
 "Hurry up, Madeline!" ordered Veronique. "We're all waiting for you."
 "Shut it, Ronnie!" Madeline shouted.
 It took her two minutes to get to the middle. When she looked at the top of the stand, it looked like it was taller than she expected. She tried to be as careful as she could, though. Then, as five minutes approached, she was at the top. She was crouched over on the edge like a monkey. She took a deep breath and looked at her befuddled relatives.
 "I made it," she said, standing up. "I made it!"
 Before she could make her way to her seat, she felt a tug. The bottom of her dress was caught on a snag on the railing, which was guarding the table. As she attempted to look behind herself, she felt as if the snag was pulling her back and she tripped on the edge. When the people on the stand witnessed Madeline descend, they all stood up.
 "Madeline!" yelled Cherise.
 Madeline didn't hit the ground as her dress was still attached to the railing. Half of the dress tore on Madeline's way down, though, ripping at the backside. Therefore, Madeline hung a foot from the floor, twirling around, involuntarily showing the ground-level attendants the rainbow pattern on her underwear.
 "Huh, so this is what it's like to be Spiderman," said Madeline, staring at the floor upside down.

BBF4E (Chapter 4)

After having a ball looking at raunchy photographs, the boys found themselves sitting on the floor in a circle, almost in complete silence. That is until Kyle started talking, of course.
"Why haven't you said anything?" he asked Jeffrey.
"I don't know," Jeffrey answered quietly.
"He said something now," DeMarcus pointed out.
"Everyone had something to say except for Jeff," noticed Kyle.
"I guess I didn't want to be any trouble," said Jeffrey.
"Why would you be any trouble? Do you have a smart mouth... like everyone else in this room?"
"I don't have a smart mouth," said Calvin.
"You keep saying that you're not gay."
"That's because I'm not gay!"
"See? Smart mouth."
"How am I a smart mouth when I'm defending myself? I'm just trying to tell you that I'm not gay."
"So you're not a virgin?"
"No! Wait, what?"
"You claim that you're not gay and you really like Madeline. So I assume that you had sex with her already."
"Well..."
"Have you?"
"No," Calvin mumbled.
"I'm sorry. What?"
"No."
"I can't hear you."
"I said no! I never had sex with Madeline! I'm still a virgin!" Calvin crossed his arms and looked at the ceiling.
"I've went third base before," admitted Jeffrey.
Calvin glanced at Jeffrey.
"You what?" asked Kyle.
"I've went third base," Jeffrey repeated. "You know, with Skye. After senior prom, she felt really bad about cheating on me in the past. So she let me touch her breasts so I can tell my friends about it."
"Did you touch them under the bra or over?"
"Ew, Kyle," said DeMarcus.
"Under," Jeffrey responded. "They were very warm. That's probably why her nipples weren't hard."
"Come on, guys," said Calvin, covering his eyes. "I don't want to talk about Skye's nipples."
"Then let's talk about Madeline's nipples," suggested Kyle.
Calvin squint his eyes. "I never seen them. Even if I did, I would never talk about them. You just want me to keep saying I'm a virgin over and over again until you're satisfied."
"So?"
"If you want to talk about nipples so bad, let's talk about Debra's nipples."
Kyle's smile dropped.
"Oh, yeah, we should," said DeMarcus. "She's got small breasts so I'm pretty sure that most of them are just areolas."
"Stop it!" Kyle commanded. "Don't talk about my girlfriend's breasts!"
"Why?" asked Calvin. "We just talked about Skye's breasts."
"Jeffrey doesn't care. I do. Debra's my girlfriend and I will not let you talk about her nipples!"
"So you've seen them?"
"No!"
"So are you a virgin?"
"I--" Kyle sighed. "Yes, I am a virgin."
"We're all virgins," said Randall. "It's so obvious."
"It's obvious for you."
"Our girlfriends are a bunch of prudes, man!" said Calvin.
"That's fine," said DeMarcus. "Lizzie is saving herself for marriage and I appreciate that. It shows that she finds sex to be a sacred thing and not something to play with."
"You know, as a guy, when you grow up, you are taught that sex doesn't have to be special at all. But when you hear things like saving yourself for the right person, it makes sense. Sex is a serious thing and when it happens for me, I want it to happen with someone I really care about and they have to care about me, too."
"I don't think about sex very often," admitted Randall. "I get too wrapped up in things like math and science. But Andrea, she's an Amazon. It would be a lie if I said I never submitted to wild fantasies about her. But I'm just not quite ready to take her. I appreciate the relationship we have at this moment. I don't want to spoil it with animalistic attempts to copulate. Let's just be humans and not animals."
"There's nothing wrong with being an animal," said Kyle. "Animals are a part of nature. Besides, we're kinda animals."
"But we're not."
"Evolution says so."
"Theories of evolution have been disputed."
"What does 'copulate' mean?" asked DeMarcus.
"Oh, read a book for once, will you?"
"Why do you gotta be so uptight?" questioned Kyle.
"Why do you gotta be so downtight?"
"That's not a word."
"I just made it a word."
"Look, you need to chill."
"I don't want to have sex either," spilled Jeffrey. "Touching Skye's boobs is enough. I don't feel the need to have sex with her. But I have thought about it. I figured if I have sex with Skye, she'll stay in love with me forever and I won't have to worry about losing her again."
"You can't use sex to trap somebody," said Calvin. "That's not how it works."
"But when girls have sex with someone, they fall in love with them if they weren't in love already."
"But you should trust that she loves you. If you don't think she feels that way, you shouldn't be with her. I felt that way about Madeline, now I trust that she feels the same way about me."
"You love Madeline?" asked Kyle.
"Did Adam love Eve?"
"It's disputed," said Randall, looking at the ceiling.
"The answer is yes."
"Sorry for calling you gay," apologized Kyle.
"It's fine. I have gay parents, so that's probably why I seem... gay, I guess. I got two dads. One of them used sperm to impregnate a surrogate so I wasn't adopted. I got gay dad genes."
Kyle chuckled.
"What do you have against gay people?" DeMarcus asked Kyle.
He looked at DeMarcus. "I got nothing against them," he answered. "I just figured if you're gay, you should admit it. I know we live in a world where some people are not okay with it but that didn't stop the millions of gay people who are themselves. I wanted Calvin to embrace it, even though he didn't have it."
"Well, I'm not gay," said Calvin. "I just have gay parents. And a few gay friends. I'm not ashamed of my life. I wouldn't change it for anything."
"Hey, I appreciate that, man," said DeMarcus. "I love gay people. I got a gay uncle and he's my favorite uncle so I got no reason to be ashamed. I also like lesbians. But if you're a girl who's not lesbian but likes to make out with other girls, I support that, too. You know, I've tried to watch Cruel Intentions. There's supposed to be a scene where Selma Blair and Buffy the Vampire Slayer make out. I watched it on TV and they cut that part out. I don't know why but they did. So it comes on again but on a different channel so I'm thinking, 'They're gonna make out.' Then they didn't. So one day, it comes back on but on another channel. I'm thinking, 'This is it. They're gonna show it. I'm gonna see it.' It comes on; the part is still cut out. I don't understand why they would cut that part out. Is it too hot for TV? Because they let that Tosh guy do whatever he wants and I don't see his show going off the air or anything like that any time soon. Now if I want to see the makeout scene, I got to go watch it on YouTube, which is not what I want to do because then it'll be all fuzzy. I need to see it clear. So what I got to do is rent the movie for three ninety-nine if I don't want to buy it for eleven ninety-nine. You're telling me I have to pay money to watch that scene when I could've watched it for free on TV? THAT'S SICK!"
The guys stared at DeMarcus for a while. He didn't know what to say after that. Then Kyle started slow-clapping, prompting the other guys to applaud DeMarcus.
"Wow," Kyle said. "That was incredible. You just got passionate about something."
"Thanks," DeMarcus said, smiling.
"That was dumb," Randall commented.
"Good for you," Kyle said to him.
"You know, I can never tell Lizzie about that," said DeMarcus. "She wouldn't understand."
"I know what you mean," said Kyle. "Debra can never know that I look at cheesecake."
"Your secret is safe with me, my cheesy brother." DeMarcus gave Kyle a fist bump.
"I don't know about that," said Calvin, shaking his head. "I might have to tell Madeline and she could tell Debra."
"You better not say a word," Kyle demanded, pointing at him. "Alright? Debra can never know this. You better not say a word!"
"What are you going to do? Waste me? You're not so tough. You want us to think you're tough but you're not. I just remembered something; you write poetry. You were in the yearbook for poetry club and I think I saw you one time reciting a poem for One Mic Night."
Kyle moved his eyes left and right.
"Oh, yeah, I remember that," said Randall. "I had to go because a few members from math club were participating at One Mic Night to sing a song about pi. You recited a poem about flowers. That's not something a tough guy would do if you happen to rely on the definition of a tough guy."
"Dude, you read a poem about some flowers?" asked DeMarcus.
"Alright, you caught me," said Kyle, putting his hands up. "I guess I'm not so tough after all."
"Good," said Calvin. "I was never scared of you anyway."
Kyle snickered.
"What kind of pie was the song about?" DeMarcus questioned. "Cherry pie?"
"No, the number pi," replied Randall. "Three point one four one five nine--"
"Yeah, you don't got to tell us all that," said Kyle.
"I don't have to listen to you, poetry boy."
"God, you sound just like my father."
"Good."
"Are we going to be like our parents?" asked DeMarcus.
"Why do you ask so many questions?" Kyle asked.
DeMarcus shrugged.
"I heard when you grow up," Jeffrey started, "your oysters sag."
"Oh, man," DeMarcus murmured.
"Good thing mine are tight and ready for fertilizing," said Calvin.
DeMarcus chuckled. His chuckle encouraged the other guys to chuckle. Then their chuckles turned into laughs.
"Oh, we're going to be best friends," Calvin said through his chortles.
"I wouldn't push it, Calvin," laughed Kyle.

Everybody Loves a Waitress (Chapter 4)

"I can't believe Lizzie works in here," shared Debra.
"I know," said Skye. "Why did you let this happen, Maddie?"
"Why did I let this happen?" Madeline repeated. "I didn't know she got a job when she got the job. She told us all about it at the same time."
"Yeah, but you could've stopped her. You're supposed to be the smart one."
"How are you gonna blame me? We're all here. You should blame yourself. We should all blame ourselves."
"Thanks for making me feel bad," said Debra.
"What kind of restaurant has a playroom?" inquired Skye. "This is like Fifty Shades of Grey, but with food."
"And I can't believe that waitress took that man into that room," said Andrea. "And he smelled like beef when he passed by."
"I think I'm going to be sick," said Madeline. "I gotta go to the bathroom. Anybody want to come with?"
"To watch you throw up?" asked Skye, crossing her arms. "I don't think so."
"Whatever." Madeline stood up. "I'll tie up my hair myself. I have a rubberband."
"Neat-O," Skye said sarcastically.
Madeline made her way to the girls' bathroom.
"Forgive me for my language but this place is trashy," said Debra, almost in a whispering tone.
"I'd never thought I would ever step foot in a brothel," shared Skye. "And it'd be disguised as an eatery."
"We should've saw it coming," said Andrea. "They called it 'an eatery'."
"Wow." Skye's eyes were in a different direction.
"I know. That was kinda corny."
"Not what you said. What I'm seeing right now."
"What are you seeing?" asked Debra.
"That girl over there."
Andrea and Debra looked where Skye was looking and found a waitress. She was a bit short and seemed younger than the other waitresses. She had short red hair and innocent blue eyes. She was talking to a customer with a big wad of bubblegum in her mouth.
"She's sixteen years old," Skye informed.
"How do you know?" questioned Andrea.
"Before we graduated, she was a freshman at our school. Her name is Lucky. She was in my programming class. That's a nerd class."
"So you're a nerd?"
"No, I just always wanted to understand coding. What I don't understand is how Lucky is working here."
"Oh, I feel like I'm in Taxi. Or Taxi Cab."
"It's Taxi Driver."
"Thank you."
Soon, Madeline came back with a stunned expression on her face.
"What's wrong, Barfie?" Skye asked her.
"Somebody's having sex in the bathroom," said Madeline in a slight deadpan voice.
"What?" said Debra.
"Are you sure it was the bathroom and not the playroom?" asked Andrea.
"Yes, I'm sure, Andrea," Madeline hissed. "There were toilets and sinks and a waitress waiting to give me mints or whatever she was going to give me."
"Why are people bonking in the bathrooms?" Skye questioned. "I know people do that all the time but there's a room where they can do that."
"They were also holes on the stalls."
"You know what? Let them bonk in the bathroom."
"Why are there holes?" asked Debra.
"They're for--"
"Don't tell her, Skye!" Madeline interrupted her.
"I'll tell you later," Skye whispered to Debra.
Lizzie arrived to the girls' table with a tray of food in each hand. "Here are your meals," she announced with a grin. She set them down on the table and started passing the plates.
"Lizzie!" Madeline called. She gave her a squeeze. "Just the girl we wanted to see."
Lizzie giggled. "Sorry I've been gone. I was busy waiting tables and getting your food."
"No, this is not the noodles and balls right now," said Skye, pointing at her plate. It was full of cooked spaghetti noodles with two big meatballs lined up on top. Projecting from between the meatballs was a long, ovoid-shaped pile of tomato sauce.
"Yeah, it is. That's how we make it for the girls."
"What if a guy asks for it?"
"Oh, instead of putting the sauce on the spaghetti like that, we put a drop of it on each of the meatballs."
Skye sighed. "Of course you do."
"Lizzie, do you know where you are right now?" asked Madeline.
"Uh, I'm at a restaurant called Tidbits," answered Lizzie. "I work here and wait tables. Like I'm not that dumb, you guys."
"Lizzie, this is more than just a restaurant," said Debra.
"It is?"
"This is a brothel."
"You mean, like soup?"
"Not a broth," said Andrea assertively. "A brothel. A whorehouse."
Lizzie looked around. "This doesn't look like a house."
"It doesn't matter, Liz'," said Madeline with her eyes closed. "The point is you need to stop working here."
"No way! This is my first job. I'm making money-cheddar."
Madeline opened her eyes. "It's money or cheddar. Do you know what that door is for?" She pointed at the door for the playroom.
"Yeah, that's the Night Owl room. It comes with the Night Owl Special."
"Yeah, but do you know what they do in that room?"
"Yeah, I heard there are toys in there. Funny how I never see any kids go in that room. I guess some adults still like to play with toys."
"So you never had to do anything... strange with a customer here?"
"No, not at all. But I was told if one of my customers ask for the Night Owl Special, I'm supposed to go in that room with them."
"Nuh-uh," uttered Debra, shaking her head. "Uh-uh, uh-uh. No, no. Lizzie, you don't want to go in that room."
"Yeah, especially right now," said Skye. "You ever stuck your Barbie doll in a blob of Play-Dough?"
"Yeah," Lizzie replied.
"That's what going on in that room."
"There's Play-Dough in there?"
"No, esta loca!" uttered Andrea, "This is a whorehouse, Lizzie! The waitresses are making whoopee with the customers here."
"Yeah, and if you keep working here, you're gonna be a hooker," added Skye.
"Oh, that don't sound like fun," said Lizzie with wide eyes.
"You know what?" asked Madeline. "I want to speak with the manager. Let me see your manager."
"Okay, I'll go get him." Lizzie walked off.
"Are you sure you want to speak with the manager?" asked Debra.
"Yeah," Madeline responded. "This is not what America is about. You can't just run things like this and think you're doing nothing wrong."
"Maybe they know they're doing something wrong," said Skye. "They're just doing it because they can."
"Well, I'm not going to stand for it."
Before long, Lizzie came back with a man. He had on black sunglasses over his eyes. He had short, brown hair and a five O'clock shadow. He even had on a navy blue suit.
"Oh, some fine girls looking for a job, I see," he said.
"Oh, no," said Madeline with her arms crossed. "We're not looking for a job."
"Then why are you here?"
"We were eating," answered Debra. "Or about to eat."
"Oh, I never really see any girls dine at this restaurant. But we are welcome to lesbians."
"We're not lesbians," clarified Madeline. "We all have boyfriends."
"Oh." The man looked at Lizzie. "Next time, get some straight guys to come here instead of straight girls."
Madeline chuckled. "No, there's not going to be a next time. Lizzie is not working here anymore."
"Why not? I need girls like her."
"No, you don't need girls like her. You want girls like Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman."
"I do want pretty women."
"I see, but you don't need Lizzie. She's a good girl."
"I know. She does a good job here. I expect her to do more, though."
"But see, she's not gonna do more because she's not working here anymore."
"Are you her mom?"
"I'm her best friend. Obviously."
"Then you don't speak for Lizzie, do you?"
"Excuse me, what's your name?" Andrea asked.
"I'm Butch, the general manager."
"Nice to meet you, Butch, the general manager. I don't want to sound rude but can you take off your Pitbull sunglasses so we can see eye-to-eye?"  
"Listen, you don't have to be here." Butch took off his glasses. He had a little bit of crow's feet coming in.
"Lizzie invited us here," Skye said.
"So why are you complaining?"
"You're running a whorehouse," Madeline replied.
"And?"
"And? And you should stop! It's illegal."
"Not really."
"Well, I can sue you. My dad has the money to do that."
"So you're just gonna rat me out? Don't be jealous of my success."
"Jealous? Butch, please! My life is way too pleasing for me to be jealous of you."
"Is that a titty cake?" asked Skye, standing up, looking at a customer's table.
"It's somebody's birthday," Butch responded.
"Ever heard of birthday cake?" asked Andrea.
"That's too boring."
"Look, I'm not gonna let you get away with this," said Madeline. "You're encouraging my best friend to be a floozy."
"Look, I get that you girls are tense," said Butch, putting his hands out. "I can fix that. Lucky!"
The waitress that the girls were eyeing earlier approached them.
"Take them to the Night Owl room," Butch told her.
Lucky put her hand on Andrea's arm but she flinched. "Girl," Andrea said, getting up. "You better back up or you gonna need another nose job."
Lucky made a face of confusion.
"Lucky, why are you working here?" asked Skye.
"Oh, hi, Skye," Lucky said. Her voice was a bit shaky. "I'm just making some money, that's all."
"For what? A fur coat?"
"Will you stop bullying my employee?" demanded Butch.
"I know your employee."
"Do you want to ruin the youthful population?" asked Madeline.
"Hey, these girls are at least eighteen or older," said Butch.
"Lucky is sixteen," corrected Skye.
"Well, she's almost eighteen."
"This is an outrage," said Madeline. "You're a sick man and I wouldn't mind if you got locked up."
"The nipples on the titty cake are candles," stated Skye.
"Do you know what society we are living in?" asked Butch. "Do you think anyone would listen to you? You're just a little girl."
"Hey, don't talk to my friend like that," ordered Andrea, walking towards Butch.
Debra got up. "Yeah, she's a smart woman," she added.
"A little boy is blowing out the candles," noted Skye.
"Madeline is more than a little girl," said Andrea. "She's more than the little girls you got running around here with their buttholes all out."
"Hey, the skirt on this uniform has the length of the average miniskirt," said Lucky, putting her hand on her hip.
"Yeah, in porn world."
"Listen, you guys obviously have a problem with my restaurant," said Butch. "So I suggest you get out or I'll make you get out."
Andrea glared at Butch. "Man, pfft!" She waved her hand over his face, faking a slap only to make him flinch, which worked. "I can escort myself out here. Muchas gracias."
"Whatever. Lizzie, your friends are obviously not going to eat so you should definitely clean all this up." Butch pointed at the girls' table, which was full of untouched food.
Lizzie glanced at the table then glanced at her friends. She looked right into her manager's eyes. "No," she said.
"I'm sorry. What?"
"I said no. I'm not going to clean that up because I don't work here anymore."
"You're quitting?"
"Yep. You know what? I was so elated to get a job. I didn't think anyone would hire me. But I rather be jobless than get hired for my looks and my coo-coo."
"Did she just say, 'coo-coo'?" asked Skye.
"If I stay here, my future is not going to look so bright. I'm so glad I have friends who care about me and are great influences to my life. So, yes, Butch, I'm quitting."
"Fine," said Butch, curling his lip. "I don't need you. You wear big underwear anyway."
"Hey, don't talk about my girl's underwear," Andrea demanded.
"Whatever." Butch rolled his eyes. "Just go."
The girls grouped together.
"We're on our way out," said Madeline.
"Wait!" said Lucky. "Can I come with you?"
"Lucky!" Butch called.
"I don't want to work here anymore. The Night Owl room is so scary. And the bathroom stalls have holes."
"Of course you can come with us, Lucky," said Skye.
"Lucky, you can't quit," said Butch.
Andrea lifted up Lucky and threw her over her shoulder. "She just did," Andrea said, holding onto Lucky's little legs. "You don't own her."
"You don't have to carry me," said Lucky, lifting her head up.
"Hey, I want to."
"See ya, Butch!" said Lizzie in a deep voice, putting up the peace sign.
The girls walked through the aisles towards the door.
"Can we hurry it up?" asked Debra. "Everyone is looking at us like dog food."
"Well, we are at a place full of dogs," said Madeline. "Dogs! All of you! Dogs!"
"You just love being the center of attention," said Skye.
The girls exit the restaurant with Andrea being the last out. Before she left, she turned around, swinging Lucky's body.
"Goodbye, girls of Tidbits," she declared. "I hope your dads are okay with this. And if you don't know your dads, they're probably here having beefcake."

I'm Moving Out! (Chapter 4)

For almost a week, Lizzie lived with Madeline in her luxurious condominium. Lizzie loved it while Madeline felt the exact opposite about it. She loved Lizzie and would never hurt her feelings. However, she was not in the mood to see Lizzie 24/7. They may have been best friends but that was Madeline's place.

One day, Madeline came home from work. She had been working from 8 a.m. to 1 p.m. She was exhausted and just wanted to chill. When she opened the door to her condo, she did not recognize it at all. Sparkly red streamers hung from the walls. The pillows on the leather couch were replaced with girly cushions with quotes quilted on them. The balcony door had soft pink velvet curtains draped over them. Red and pink ribbons were tied around the table and chair legs. Madeline's Elysian Fields was now the infernal regions. In other words, what used to be Madeline's heaven was now her hell.

"Surprise!" Lizzie shouted, running out of the hall and throwing her arms out.

"Uh, Lizzie, what happened in here?" Madeline asked, throwing her keys on the little table by the door.

"I redecorated the place."

She closed the door. "You or a six-year-old hoodlum?"

"Me. It was all me. You likey?"

Madeline walked further into the living room, looking all around. "Lizzie, do you even know how to decorate a house?"

"Well, no. But if I were gonna get a house, this is how I would want to look like. Sorta."

"But, Lizzie, streamers? You don't decorate a house with streamers."

"Okay, maybe I can take the streamers down. But don't you like the curtains? I know how much you love pink. Everything in this place is practically brown."

"I have no problem with brown."

"Brown is the color of doo."

"Well, everything in here is expensive doo, alright? You can't just change everything in here without telling me." Madeline looked in the corner by the TV. "No, you didn't get the lamp from A Christmas Story."

Lizzie came closer and looked at the lamp the size and shape of a sexy leg with a red stiletto. "A Christmas store? They have those around here?"

"Not a Christmas store. A Christmas Story! You know, the movie."

"Uh, I didn't get this lamp from a movie. I went to a thrift store for this. I didn't know movies liked to give things away."

"Lizzie, tell me that's the only tacky thing you got for this place besides the ribbons."

"Tacky? I thought this lamp was cute. I've always wanted shoes like that. But yeah, this is all I bought."

"Thank you."

"And some paint."

"Paint?"

"Yeah, but I didn't paint the walls. I just used the paint to write with."

"Write what?"

"This." Lizzie moved to the wall by the dining table.

Madeline was surprised to see what was on her wall. The message said, "Maddie and Lizzie's Condo 4Ever" in pink paint.

"See, I wrote it in pink," said Lizzie. "Pretty neat, huh?"

"Oh, my God."

"Yeah, I can't believe I got it to be so big. I'm proud of myself."

Madeline covered her mouth. "I think I'm going to be sick."

"What's wrong? Did you eat something bad? Was it gluten?"

Madeline ran into her nice kitchen. There, she stepped on the lever at the bottom of her trashcan, opening it that way. She stuck her head inside before upchucking. Lizzie came in and held Madeline's hair back.

"There, there," she said. "Let it all out. But you do like what I've done with the place, right?"

Madeline stood up straight and took her foot off the lever, closing the trashcan. She wiped her mouth with the back of her hand and exhaled. "Lizzie, can I ask you something?" she said softly without looking at Lizzie.

"Sure, Mads. Ask me anything."

"Can you get out of my house?"

Lizzie paused. "Why? You want me to buy you some Tylenol?"

"No. No, no. I meant as in leave my house and never come back."

"Leave with all my stuff in here?"

"Lizzie! Don't you understand what I am saying to you?"

"You're kicking me out?"

"Well, I wouldn't say 'kick out'. It's not like I'm taking you to the door, opening it then pushing you out with my foot. I could do that but I'm not going to because I love you."

"But I don't understand. I thought we were having a good time."

"Lizzie, I always have fun with you. I just don't want to have fun with you every day. And if I'm going to have fun with you every day, I rather have fun with you not the entire time. Does that make sense?"

"I don't know."

"Listen, the only reason you're here is because you didn't have any freedom at home. I think you should talk to your mother about what you are allowed to do over there. If she doesn't want to listen or make any agreements with you, you can move back in."

"Can I really?"

"Yeah. However, there's a chance I will change my mind and try to convince Debra to let you stay with her. She has a hard time saying no anyway."

"That is true. But what about her brother? He seems like the type that will peek at me while I'm undressing."

"Then you better buy some cheap perfume and spray him in the eye. That dude is twelve years old; he doesn't need his eyesight forever."

"Maybe you're right, Madeline. I should talk to my mom and see if it works out. Thank you."

"No problem. Now untie all the ribbons before I kill you. Wait, did you touch my room?"

"Uh... no?"

"When you say no with a question mark, it's a yes."

"Then yes?"

"I see what you're trying to do."

Goodbye, School (Chapter 4)

Afterwards, one of the staff members went through an alphabetical list of seniors and individually announced each name. The person who heard their name came up on stage and received their high school diploma from the principal. The girls' names were called, along with other friends, boyfriends and familiar faces.

Homer Wakefield Anderson
Skylar Tara Carter
Kevin Cameron Christie
Elizabeth Carmela Duvall
Andrea Rose Melinda Alejandra Martina Jenni Cantina Gonzalez
David James Geraldson
Samantha Annette Harrington
Kent Christopher Hamm
Alexander James "A.J." Hart
Sean Maya Hemingway
DeMarcus Michael Jones
Warren Terrance Kerr
Madeline Louise King
Kari Michelle Lancaster
Calvin Lee Layfield
Debra Shawna Lincoln
Kyle Lin Liu
Randall Cumberbatch Lowe
Pamela Porticia McAdams
Mauricia Nicole Palette
Jeffrey Xavier Parks
Jackson Stanley Payne
Hank Harvey Reynolds
Chrissy Martine Walker
Chad Robert Welch
Denny Benedict Winchester

When every senior received their diploma and were at their seats, the principal let Madeline go back to the podium.
"Alright," she said. "Are you ready for this moment? Everyone, take your tassel and turn it to the other side."
Every senior reached for the tassel hanging from their caps and moved it over from the right side to the left side.
"Congratulations, Class of 2016. You have officially graduated from Laguna Beach High School. Can I get a 'Suck that, world'?"
"Suck that, world!" every student hollered.
"You guys rock." Madeline took off her cap and threw it in the air, prompting everyone to chuck their caps in the air.
Everyone's friends and families stood up and applauded them. After catching their hats, every student either cheered or hugged their neighbors, engaging in merry conversation.

Time to Shave Your Legs (Part 2) (Chapter 4)

While almost every senior from Laguna Beach High was on the dance floor. Everyone except for Andrea and Randall, who were together, leaning against the wall. Andrea was noshing on a plate of pretzels she received from the snack table. Randall slowly became irritated as he listened to Andrea insistently munching on the crunchy snack food.
"Could you chew any louder?" Randall snapped.
"Could you be any more snippy?" Andrea responded.
"Those pretzels can't be that good."
"Well, they're good so deal with it."
"I can't believe I'm at the prom with you."
"Well, no one put a gun to your head."
"No, they put an Andrea to my head."
"I am not a thing."
"Clearly, you aren't. You're an animal who eats like an animal."
"You know what?!"
"Hey," a male voice said.
"What?" Andrea turned her head and was immediately face-to-face with her ex-boyfriend, Kevin Christie. She was instantly frozen, looking deep into Kevin's hazel eyes. "Kevin," she finally spoke.
"You look amazing in that dress, Andrea," Kevin complimented her.
"Th-Thank you."
"Look, I know I haven't spoke to you in a while but... can we talk?"
"Gee, I don't know, Kevin. I mean, you--"
"This will only take a second. I promise." Kevin gently grabbed one of Andrea's hands.
Andrea looked down. "Okay. Can we talk here?"
"It's a little too noisy here."
"I can hear you just fine."
"Okay, well... Can he move somewhere?" Kevin pointed at Randall, who was staring at him.
"I don't think so, pal," said Randall, crossing his arms. "I was here first."
"I know but--"
"He's my date, Kevin," said Andrea. "He should stay."
"You can't tell me what to do," Randall muttered.
"Andrea, I miss you," said Kevin. "And I know it was wrong of what I did. But if you let me explain--"
"Are you here with Lorna?" Andrea interrupted him.
"What?"
"You heard me. Are you here with Lorna?"
"I-- Uh, I--"
"If Lorna's a small, blonde girl with a weird smile," started Randall, "then yes, he's here with her."
"That describes her," confirmed Andrea.
"She was wearing a cream-colored dress."
"Hey, I was talking to Andrea," said Kevin.
"Well, you're done talking to her," said Andrea. She walked away from Kevin, dropping her plate of pretzels and feeling the corners of her eyes for tears.  

Thirty minutes had passed after Madeline went to the bathroom. Calvin felt worried and decided to look for her. He walked around the whole ballroom, surveying the dancing crowd. He went out and entered the series of halls that led to the lounge. When he got to the last hall, he found Madeline, recognizing her blonde hair and purple gown. However, she was pressing a curly-haired hottie, probably Brody, against the wall and necking him. Calvin stared at the two in disbelief and did not want to interrupt them. At that moment, Lizzie and DeMarcus had just taken photos together. As they were about to leave, they caught Madeline kissing Brody as well. They also saw Calvin, who decided to go back into the halls and leave.
"Go ahead without me," Lizzie whispered to DeMarcus. "This will take a seccy."
DeMarcus nodded and exited the halls. Lizzie moved closer towards Madeline and slapped her a few times on the back. Madeline pulled away from Brody when she felt someone assaulting her.
"Lizzie, what are you doing?" she asked.
"A good thing," Lizzie responded. "You have a date. And you!" She pointed at Brody. "You're here with a possibly Swedish chick."
"Oh, yeah, I almost forgot about her," Brody exhaled, looking at the ceiling. "I hope she's still on the dance floor." Brody ran away into the halls.
"What was going on?" Lizzie asked, putting her fists on her hips.
"Listen, I know that me and Brody have dates," said Madeline. "But he was looking so good that I had to grab him."
"Man, you do like having two dates to the prom."
"Brody's not my date. I have Calvin."
"So why aren't you making out with Calvin?"
"Because he's my friend."
"Well, Calvin doesn't look at you that way."
"What do you mean?"
"Calvin is crazy in love with you."
"What?"
"Yeah, Calvin likes you more than a friend. And he was here, watching you with Brody, looking so crazy in love. You got him looking, got him looking so crazy in love."
"Uh, there is no way Calvin loves me. He is just a really good friend."
"Uh, news flash, Maddie. Every guy loves you. Why wouldn't Calvin love you?"
"Because he's homosexual."
"He's not homosexual, Maddie. He's metrosexual. DeMarcus taught me that word two minutes ago."
Madeline closed her eyes. "Okay, I'm so confused."
"What's confusing? Calvin does everything you tell him to do and that's because he likes you. He wants to be with you and he has tried to make it clear. But you never got it. I thought you were smart!"
"I am smart! It's just that... Calvin? I can't go out with Calvin."
"Really, Madeline?"
"What?"
"I forget how shallow you can be. You claim you want good guys but you never pursue good guys. That's why you're always single. You pick the wrong guys. If you were with Sean, he would have made you feel like such a princess. But you shouldn't be with Sean; he's nasty. Now, Calvin claims to have been in love with you ever since you two were kids. And you're not even going to give him a chance? He would catch a grenade for you. Throw his hand on a blade for you. And you're gonna continue going after guys who have no real respect for you? That makes me not want to respect you at all, Madeline."
Lizzie walked away, leaving Madeline by herself in the hall. She stared into the air, thinking about everything Lizzie said. Even though Lizzie usually says ridiculous things, what she said to Madeline actually made sense.

Time to Shave Your Legs (Part 1) (Chapter 4)

It was another day at Laguna Beach High. The girls were yet again at the cafeteria, eating and chatting. At one moment, Calvin, Madeline's scrawny friend, came over to the table with a camera hung around his neck and notepad in his hand.
He waved at the girls. "Hi, everyone," he said in singsong.
"Hey, Calvin," the girls said.
"What are you doing here, Calv'?" asked Madeline.
"I made up a survey to use in the school paper," explained Calvin. "I was hoping if you guys would like to answer some questions."
The girls accepted.
"Cool!" Calvin held his pencil to his notepad. "So how are you guys feeling about the upcoming prom?"
"I'm horrified," answered Skye. "It's really bumming me out. I rather drink a whole liter of gasoline and run on a trail of hot coals than to go to the LSD-fueled fest full of horny teenagers known as 'senior prom'."
Calvin froze, then began writing on his pad. "I'm just going to take that as a 'I'm not so excited'."
"Dang, Skye," said Andrea. "No wonder you don't have a date."
"That reminds me: will you girls be bringing dates with you and why?"
"I--," Skye began but Calvin interrupted her.
"You're done. Any other takers?"
"That's easy," said Lizzie, putting her arm around her boyfriend. "I will be bringing DeMarcus with me because he is my boyfriend and soulmate."
"And I will be taking Lizzie," said DeMarcus, "because she is my girlfriend and mates with my soul as well."
"Aw, that's sweet," commented Calvin, writing their answers down. "Finally, do you think senior prom will be better than junior prom? Don't say anything, Skye."
"I believe senior prom will be better," replied Madeline. "As seniors, we are provided with more freedom. And because of it, I think everybody will have the time of their lives."
Calvin wrote on his pad. "Excellent, excellent. Thank you guys so much for taking my survey. You will be newspaper stars."
"Interesting," said Lizzie.
Calvin lifted his camera and took a picture of the five. "Bye, guys!" He waved before leaving.
"Bye!" all the girls said.
"For your information," Skye told Andrea, "I do have a date. His name is Jeffrey."
Andrea almost choked on her lunch. "Your ex-boyfriend?" she asked.
"That's the one."
"I thought you guys were, like, dunzo," said Lizzie.
"We are, but there's nothing wrong with going with a friend."
"That's a neat way of looking at it, Skye," said Debra.
"Well, that's perfect," snapped Madeline. "Skye's going with Jeffrey, Lizzie's with DeMarcus, Andrea's got Randall and Debra's going with Kyle. All of my friends got a date except for me. I am Madeline Louise King; every guy finds me irresistible!"
"Just go by yourself," recommended Skye.
"Didn't you hear what I said? I'm Madeline Louise King. I can't go by myself."
"But you are," said Lizzie.
"No, I'm not!"
"Oh, Madeline..." a male voice sang.
Madeline closed her eyes. "Oh, no," she muttered. "I'm afraid to look."
"There's nothing to be scared of," said Lizzie. "It's just Skye's band."
"I know, Lizzie." Madeline opened her eyes and turned her head, studying David, Sean and Kent, Skye's bandmates. Sean was standing right behind her. "Hey, guys," she smiled awkwardly.
"Madeline, are you lotion?" asked Sean, her worst nightmare. "Because I want you all over my body."
"No. Thank God." Madeline slowly turned her back.
"So, Madeline--"
"No."
"You don't know what I was going to say."
"Yes, I do and the answer is no."
"Can I at least ask so you'd know the question?"
"Fine."
"The prom is coming up and I was wondering--"
"No."
"I didn't finish!"
"There's no need. I'm not going to the prom with you, Sean. Okay, maybe I would've gone with you last year."
"But what happened?"
"I already had a date."
"'Date' as in 'dates'," said Skye.
"I'm sorry, Sean," said Madeline, "but it's a no."
"Fine, I'm used to your no's anyway," mumbled Sean.
"Hey, Skye, can we have band practice at my house?" asked David.
"Sure, Dave," she answered.
"Cool."
"Sorry you got rejected, buddy," Kent told Sean.
"I didn't get rejected," said Sean.
"Oh, no, you got rejected," clarified Madeline.
"Let's go."
The boys walked away from the table. Skye shook her head at Madeline.
"What?" asked Madeline.
"You've been complaining that you have no date to the prom," answered Skye, "and when somebody asks you, you tell them no?"
"It wasn't somebody, Skye. It was Sean."
"It doesn't matter. What's wrong with Sean?"
"I can give you a million reasons what's wrong with Sean. For example, I once caught him sniffing the insides of my shoes."
"It was just one shoe."
"It was five."
"Well, how did you get the time to catch Sean smelling five of your shoes?"
"Look, don't put this on me."
"Skye is right, Maddie," said Debra. "You're a hypocrite."
Madeline laughed. "I'm a hypocrite because I want the perfect prom date?"
"Nobody's perfect," spit Skye. "If you think like that, you'll never have a date."
"Sorry for having dreams."
"Dreams do come true," added DeMarcus.
"Don't side with her, DeMarcus," commanded Skye. "She's full of fairytale farts and princess poo."
"Ouch. I can't believe you have a date."

Not Meant to Sit on Babies (Chapter 4)

Lizzie put Dallas in his high chair in the kitchen. She took out all of the food meant for Dallas and attempted to feed it to him. But he resisted the food as he continued to wail. His eyes were closed shut as tears streamed down his face. Lizzie tried to stick her spoon of baby food in his mouth but he just kept crying and crying and crying.
"Come on, Dallas," Lizzie begged. "You're a baby; you need to eat to live. Look at me; look at how yummy this food is." Lizzie dipped the spoon in her mouth, consuming all the mush on it. When she took the spoon out, she started to gag. She hastily looked for the trashcan and when she found it, she spit everything in her mouth into the can. She wiped her mouth with her arm and walked back to the crying Dallas. "See, it's good. That was good."
Dallas opened his eyes but he was still crying strongly.
Debra was on the other side of Dallas, witnessing Lizzie's failed attempts to feed her brother. "Lizzie, I don't think he wants to eat this," she said.
"I know, but he has got to stop crying," said Lizzie.
"He's crying because you dropped him on the floor."
"I didn't drop him on the floor. The couch dropped him on the floor. I was with you, 'member?"
"Look, maybe he hit his head." Debra began massaging Dallas' head with both hands. "Shhh," she hushed. "It's okay. Just relax. Shhh..."
It wasn't working; Dallas continued to cry.
"I don't think he likes that," Lizzie shared.
"Well, I don't know what's wrong with him."
"Maybe he wants his milk." Lizzie rushed over to the refrigerator and opened it right up. She grabbed the half-full pitcher of milk and set it on the table. She grabbed a glass from the cabinet and a straw from the drawer. She stuck the straw in the glass before pouring the milk in. "Ew, ew, ew, ew," she said while she poured the milk. Lizzie pushed the glass towards Dallas when she was done.
"Lizzie, he can't drink the milk like that," said Debra.
"You're right; he doesn't know straws work yet." She searched through the cabinets until she found a baby bottle. She took off the nipple and poured the milk from the glass into the bottle. "Ew, ew, ew, ew," she said as she poured the milk. She stuck the nipple back on and pushed the bottle in Dallas' direction.
Dallas kept crying so Lizzie pushed the bottle even closer. Debra snatched the bottle and tried to force it in Dallas' mouth.
"Come on, Dallas," she pleaded. "Drink the milk-y. Come on, you love milk, don't you?"
Dallas resisted from the bottle, still wailing.
"Why won't he drink it?" asked Debra.
"Because he's not hungry," responded Lizzie.
"I know that!"
Lizzie gasped. "Let's ask the kids if they know what to do."
"Lizzie, they're kids."
"But they're all we have!"
Lizzie lifted Dallas from his high chair and carried him out of the kitchen with Debra following them. They walked into the living room where the kids were spending their time. Leroy was sitting next to Linda on the couch while Krista was sitting in one of the chairs.
"Are you comfy, baby?" questioned Leroy, putting his arm around Linda.
"I'm not your baby," she said.
"So, baby, I was wondering if you want to be my date for the homecoming dance at my school."
"Um, no thanks. I'm not even allowed to date yet."
"Oh, that's okay. There will be chaperones there so they'll keep a good eye on us. But they'll never check the bathrooms."
He began to laugh but Linda pinched Leroy on his arm, making him fling it away from her shoulders.
"Ow!" he uttered, clutching his arm.
"Hey, guys," said Debra, coming closer to the kids. "Do you want to do us girls a favor?"
"Of course, if it involves being away from Leroy," responded Linda.
"That's nice. Um, we were wondering if you three know anything about making a baby stop crying."
"Uh, what do I look like?" asked Leroy. "The baby whisperer?"
"I heard if you sing to a baby, it calms it down," shared Krista.
"Oh, that makes sense," said Lizzie, bouncing Dallas in her grip. "But neither of us can sing."
"Hey, I can sing some Blackstreet," said Leroy while looking at Linda.
"I don't know who that is," she admitted.
"Listen, we are desperate to shut Dallas up," said Lizzie. "It's worth a try."
"I can try to sing to him," said Krista. "I love to sing."
"Oh, please, Krista." Lizzie walked over to her and handed the baby right over.
Krista held Dallas in her arms and began singing softly and sweetly to him.

The snow glows white on the mountain tonight
Not a footprint to be seen
A kingdom of isolation
And it looks like I'm the queen

Suddenly, the baby started to calm down and listen to Krista's saccharine voice. He opened his bright, brown eyes and looked at Krista's flawless face. Lizzie and Debra looked at each other in amazement. When Krista wrapped up her singing, Lizzie carefully took Dallas from her arms. She began holding him and rocking him.
"Oh, my goodie!" said Lizzie. "He stopped crying."
"Wow, Krista, that was really good," commented Debra.
Krista scrunched her forehead. "Good?" She stood up. "What do you mean, good? I was amazing!" She started tearing up and her voice was quivering. "Why doesn't anyone love my singing?" She zipped past the girls and ran upstairs.
Lizzie motioned her eyes to Debra. "What was that about?" she asked in a low voice.
"She's very sensitive about her talent," explained Linda.
For some reason, Dallas started wailing again. Lizzie glanced at him and sighed. Everyone else started to get frustrated.

For an hour, Dallas did nothing but cry. Lizzie and Debra ran out of solutions to make him stop sobbing. They were too tired to even come up with more solutions. They just sat beside the stairs, leaning against the wall. Dallas was in Lizzie's hands, wailing his head off. They could hear Linda and Leroy arguing upstairs somewhere. They just looked like suicidal vagrants.
"Are we going to be bad parents?" asked Lizzie, almost in a mumble.
"I don't know, Lizzie," answered Debra.
"Well, do you think I'm a bad sister?"
"Of course not."
"Then why can't I stop Dallas from crying?"
"Because you're like Sugar Kane: you're not that bright."
"So because I'm not a light or a stick of sugar, Dallas won't stop crying?"
"Whatever you want, Lizzie."
"Thank you for helping me."
"I wish I wasn't."
"You're supposed to be good at calming people down."
"Well, I can't do everything!"
"Sorry."
"No, I'm sorry. Are you sure he doesn't have a pacifier?"
"He does; I just can't find it anywhere."
"At least I don't have a headache."
"Yeah, lucky you."
Ding-dong! The doorbell rang. Lizzie stood up and carried Dallas in her arms. She walked over to the door and opened it. At the door was Andrea, who took a step inside.
"Andrea, what are you doing here so early?" Lizzie questioned.
"My date was horrific," answered Andrea. "I threw up on him."
  "Oh, no! Were you sick?"
"No, I just felt throwing up on him. He was a complete nightmare. I guess I'll go back to fantasizing about Randall."
"You do that."
Andrea then noticed her other friend. "Oh, hey, Debra."
Debra stood up. "Hey, Andy." She waved at her.
"I didn't know Debra was here."
"Oh, yeah, she was helping me with Dallas," said Lizzie.
"Well, thank God for Debra. So I guess I'm going to take my sisters and head on out now."
Soon, Linda came running down the stairs, shown to be chased by Leroy.
"You are disgusting!" Linda said to him.
"It was only a joke," said Leroy.
"You," Andrea hissed at Leroy.
Leroy looked like a deer caught in headlights when Andrea darted after him. She was stopped by Lizzie; Debra shielded her brother. Linda stood back, really wanting Andrea to do something to him.
"I can't believe you're here!" Andrea shouted. "If I knew you were here, I would've left my sisters at home."
"Calm down, honey sauce," said Leroy.
"Oh, I'll show you honey sauce." Andrea struggled in Lizzie's one-arm grip.
"Guys!" Lizzie shouted. "Not in front of the baby."
"Krista, get down here!" called Andrea. She gave Leroy a threatening look while pointing at him.
Krista rushed down the stairs when she heard her sister's voice. Andrea grabbed Krista by the face.
"Did that boy hurt you?" asked Andrea.
"No," answered Krista, freeing herself.
"Let's go." Andrea put her arms around her little sisters and proceeded to go out the door. She turned her head at Leroy and said, "I better not catch you in the streets."
"I ain't do nothing," he said.
"I'm still gonna get you." She left the house with her siblings.