Embarrassment Town (Chapter 5)

"Thanks for the jacket," Madeline said to the groomsman she was with earlier. "But everyone knows what kind of underwear I wear now so I might as well walk around like that."
"Just be thankful," said the groomsman before walking away.
Madeline tied the sleeves of his blue jacket into a knot so it wouldn't slip off her waist. When she turned around, Cherise was there in her face.  
"You're like a ghost," said Madeline.
"I know," said Cherise, crossing her arms. "Are you okay?"
"No." Madeline glanced down. "I have bad luck."
Cherise chuckled. "What?"
"It's not funny."
"You have bad luck?"
"Yeah, ever since I spilled that salt shaker at Cool Beans, my life has been a mess. I tried everything to get rid of my bad luck but nothing has worked. I never thought I would say this but I don't know what to do."
"Hmm, okay. Here." Cherise bent over and pulled up her cream puff of a dress.
"Ew, Auntie!" Madeline blocked her face. "I don't want that!"
"It's not what you think, you dum-dum." Cherise dug into her strappy white high-heeled shoe and pulled out a tiny plant. "I want you to have this."
Madeline took a better look at it. "A four-leaf clover?"
"Yep."
"Why do you have this?"
"When I was around your age, I walked under a ladder and bad things started to rain down on me."
"Ladders do cause problems."
"One day, I found a four-leaf clover in a field of three-leaf clovers. I kept it and good things began to occur. I take it with me wherever I go. Now I want you to have it."
"Oh, Auntie, I don't know if I can accept this."
"It's fine, Madeline. I had my years of good luck. Now I need to live life my way now. You're young; you're supposed to be having fun. If you're gonna have fun, you need good luck. So here." Cherise handed her niece the clover.
"Oh, thank you, Auntie. But what about your marriage?"
"Hey, I'm already married. One day is better than none." Cherise laughed, causing Madeline to laugh.
Suddenly, the women heard a man screaming. They brought their attention to the high stand and saw Simon rolling down the ladder. He landed on his abdomen before holding his own sides. Madeline's groomsman rushed towards him and knelt down.
"Simon, are you okay?" he asked concerned.
"No!" Simon yelled in his old man voice. "My pelvis! I think I broke my pelvis!"
Cherise slowly turned her head and looked at her niece. "Hey, Madeline," she said with an awkward smile through scarlet lips. "Do you think I can have that clover back for a second?"
Madeline began walking away. "I'm sorry," she said. "No givesies backsies."

Embarrassment Town (Chapter 4)

  "Thank you, girls, for being my bridesmaids," said Madeline's aunt, Cherise.
 "It's not like you have any real friends," Madeline's cousin, Veronique, muttered loud enough for the girls to hear. Madeline nudged her on the arm, causing Veronique to glare at her.
 "I can't believe how nervous I am," said Cherise. She was wearing a white, lacy, French ball gown, something that a princess would wear for her wedding. Her face was caked with makeup and she was holding a bouquet of blue flowers.
 "Don't be nervous," assured Madeline. "You look great... sorta. And you're gonna be fine. You're getting married."
 "I know."
 "Then keep knowing."
 "What are you? Gandhi?" asked Jeanne, Madeline's other cousin.
 Veronique snickered. "I know, right?" she said.
 Madeline squinted her eyes at her cousins. Suddenly, they all heard music playing. It was a violin-influenced version of "Here Comes the Bride".
 "Oh, that's your cue," whispered Cherise. She put her long veil over her face. "Go, go."
 The bridesmaids assembled in a line. Veronique was first, Jeanne was second and Madeline was third. They looked like sisters in their matching blue gowns. And they were all holding little bouquets of white roses. Out of nowhere, the handsome groomsmen came out and picked a partner. Steadily, Veronique entered the chapel, arm-in-arm with her groomsman.
 "How you doin'?" she whispered to him, smirking.
 The young groomsman smirked back at her. Veronique moved her head around so her long, red locks could bounce all over the place. Walking down the aisle, she continued to seduce her partner, only with her little emeralds for eyes.
 Jeanne walked steadily down the aisle with her groomsmen, avoiding eye contact with each other. She was too young for him anyway. The groomsman had to be in his thirties, making her at least ten years younger than him. Jeanne just moved her blue eyes to the kaleidoscopic windows of Jesus Christ. She used her free hand to fix her lustrous, brown hair.
 Then it was Madeline's turn. Interlocked with her groomsman, she walked down the aisle, yards away from Jeanne. She held her head high and simpered at everybody in the wooden pews. Nothing pestered her until the groomsman she was with accidentally stepped on her foot.
 "Ow!" she yelled, leaping. "Watch where you're going," she whispered to the groomsman.
 "I'm sorry," he said.
 "You should be."
 Madeline tried to continue to walk with confidence. But her foot hurt so much that she was practically limping. She continued to smile, hoping her big, white grin would distract the attendants from her weird bunny-like hopping. Madeline's partner did his best to be careful walking with her. But just when they were feet away from the minister, Madeline stepped on the foot of her partner.
 "Ow!" he yelled.
 Madeline gasped. "Sorry," she said.
 "You should be."
 "Don't get snippy!" Madeline pushed herself away from the groomsman, tripping and tumbling onto the floor.
 Almost everyone in the pews gasped when they saw Madeline fall. She lifted herself up and regained her balance.
 "I'm okay, people," she announced, throwing her hands up. "I'm okay." She giggled awkwardly before pulling the groomsman to her side. "Get over here," she muttered.

 After the ceremony, everybody headed to the reception. It took place at a hotel that was ten minutes from the church. The reception was held in the biggest ballroom in the world. Newlyweds Cherise and Simon, who had to be twenty years older than her, were the first ones to be there. Everyone else who entered were astonished by the white curtains and tablecloths with silver dishes and chandeliers. However, what caught Madeline's attention was the ten-foot stand clothed in white with a long table on top right across from her.
 She approached her aunt. "Auntie, what is that?" Madeline asked, pointing at the shocker.
 "Oh, you know how in England, people have high tea?" Cherise asked. "Well, I like to call this 'high reception'."
 "That's not a thing."
 "Well, I made it a thing."
 "Please don't tell me we have to sit on that."
 "Fine, I won't tell you... but we are."
 Madeline scoffed. "All of us?"
 "No, just me, Simon, the bridesmaids, the groomsmen, my parents and my siblings."
 "Can I sit somewhere in these tables? These are nice tables. They're low, they're regular tables."
 "No, Madeline. Why don't you want to sit with me? Are you afraid of heights?"
 "Yes! I'm afraid of heights and if I get up there, I'll die. Or have a nose bleed."
 Cherise giggled. "Oh, Madeline, the stand is a hundred percent safe. It's sturdy enough to hold fifty Sumo wrestlers."
 "Are you making that up?"
 "Yes. Now stop being a Grinch." Cherise walked off to be with her new husband.
 Before Madeline knew it, everybody assigned to sit at the high table was making their way towards it. From afar, she can see them climbing up a ladder on the side of the stand. Seeing that ladder chilled Madeline to the bone. Her eyes were popping out of her head and she gulped so loud that she heard it echo. With hesitation, she began walking towards the stand.
 "Come on, Madeline!" shouted Cherise from the top.
 Everyone sat in their seats with some of them watching Madeline from the bottom. She examined the ladder like it was an X-ray of a broken bone. She could hear her heart thumping as she grabbed onto the cold, steel bars. Little by little, Madeline climbed up the ladder, staring hard at the bars.
 "Hurry up, Madeline!" ordered Veronique. "We're all waiting for you."
 "Shut it, Ronnie!" Madeline shouted.
 It took her two minutes to get to the middle. When she looked at the top of the stand, it looked like it was taller than she expected. She tried to be as careful as she could, though. Then, as five minutes approached, she was at the top. She was crouched over on the edge like a monkey. She took a deep breath and looked at her befuddled relatives.
 "I made it," she said, standing up. "I made it!"
 Before she could make her way to her seat, she felt a tug. The bottom of her dress was caught on a snag on the railing, which was guarding the table. As she attempted to look behind herself, she felt as if the snag was pulling her back and she tripped on the edge. When the people on the stand witnessed Madeline descend, they all stood up.
 "Madeline!" yelled Cherise.
 Madeline didn't hit the ground as her dress was still attached to the railing. Half of the dress tore on Madeline's way down, though, ripping at the backside. Therefore, Madeline hung a foot from the floor, twirling around, involuntarily showing the ground-level attendants the rainbow pattern on her underwear.
 "Huh, so this is what it's like to be Spiderman," said Madeline, staring at the floor upside down.

Embarrassment Town (Chapter 3)

 The day after, Madeline invited the girls over to her place. She just recently admitted that she does have bad luck and it's going way too far. The girls rang the doorbell and Madeline yelled that it was open. They let themselves in but didn't see Madeline in the living room at all. They moved further in and caught Madeline in the kitchen chopping up a stick of sage with a butcher knife. She is also wearing multiple bejeweled necklaces and bracelets.
 "Hey, sisters," she said, smiling at her friends.
 "What are you doing?" asked Skye.
 "Chopping up sage. No big deal."
 Andrea chuckled. "What are you doing that for?" she inquired.
 "So I can burn it."
 "Why?" questioned Skye.
 "You guys ask a lot of questions." Madeline put down the knife. "I'm trying to get rid of the bad luck, okay?"
 "With sage?" inquired Lizzie.
 "I looked online on how to get rid of my bad luck and it says that burning sage helps. And being around crystals and gemstones help ward off evil. Good thing I own jewelry with the finest stones. It makes me feel like an Egyptian princess."
 "Good for you, Cleopatra."
 Madeline continued to chop up the sage. "Whatever, Skye. Although, I do admire Cleopatra as an important figure." Madeline picked up all the chopped sage with her hands and dropped it in a black bowl. "Now the big finale." She took out a matchbox and picked a random match. She rubbed it on the table, causing it to ignite. Then she dropped the match into the bowl, setting all the sage on fire.
 Lizzie yelped at the sight of the fire.
 "Don't worry," assured Madeline. "This bowl is fireproof." She grabbed an oven mitt and began carrying the bowl. "Can someone open the window please?" She walked out of the kitchen with the bowl.
 "I'll get it," said Debra. She entered the kitchen and opened up the window.
 Madeline carried the smoking bowl to every corner of the dining and living room. 
 "Uh, are you sure that this stuff is working, Madeline?" asked Skye.
 "Well, nothing bad has happened in the last five minutes so yeah," answered Madeline. "I got to try all the methods, though."
 "What methods?" asked Andrea.
 "Well, I got to declutter my home from the things I don't want or use. I'm starting to become a hoarder. Also, I got to rearrange the furniture in my house. I don't mind doing that. And I got to turn all the lights on. No darkness can touch this room."
 "And that's all?" Skye asked sarcastically.
 Madeline put the bowl of burning sage on the coffee table. "Not quite. There were other methods I've tried. I bathed in salt water, I burned incense, and I saved all the broken pieces of my favorite handheld mirror. And--Oh! Do you like my shirt?" Madeline tugged on her gray sweater, which had a big green four-leaf clover on it.
 "Cute!" Lizzie commented.
 "Thanks. But I feel like I'm forgetting some things."
 "Have you tried cleansing your chakras with fresh flowers?" asked Debra, standing by the dining room.
 "No, I have not. Thank you, Debbie. And I also need a horseshoe. My mom owns some horses so getting a shoe shouldn't be hard to do."
 "You know what else you could do to throw away your bad luck?" questioned Skye. "Donate all the money you hide from us."
 "Donate? No way. I got to think about myself first."
 "Of course you would say that."
 "Madeline, are you sure you know what you're doing?" inquired Andrea. "I mean, you're doing a lot."
 "The more, the merrier," said Madeline, putting her hands on her hips. "I spilled salt and broke a mirror. I need to get lucky fast."
 Right there, Debra felt something brush up against her leg. She looked down and could not help but smile. "Aw!" she uttered.
 The girls looked at her and saw a white rabbit on the floor, wiggling its black nose.
 Debra picked it up and took a better look at it. "Where did this little bunny rabbit come from?" she asked.
 "Oh, I bought it after I got off from work," Madeline replied.
 "You bought a rabbit?" Skye questioned.
 "It's so cute," Debra remarked. "I didn't think you'd get another pet."
 "Oh, it's not a pet," Madeline corrected. She picked up a cleaver, which was sitting on the coffee table. "I just need it for its foot." She approached Debra but stopped when she turned around, shielding the animal.
  "What?" Debra shrieked. "You are not cutting off its feet!"
 "Relax, I only need the left foot."
 "I don't care which foot it is. You're not harming this bunny. I won't let you."
 "Why do you have a cleaver in your living room?" asked Skye.
 "You ask too many questions," said Madeline, pointing the cleaver at her.
 "Madeline, I love you but esta loca!" uttered Andrea. "Girl, you can't buy a rabbit just to cut off its foot. I better call PETA on your tail."
 "Look, I just want to have good luck."
 "But nobody's lucky," said Skye. "Good luck isn't real. I'm starting to think your bad luck is a coincidence. I mean, nothing bad is happening to you right now."
 "That's because I got all this stuff."
 "Listen, I don't think it's working. I think it's a placebo. It's all in your head."
 "I don't have to listen to you. You're not the one with the bad luck. You know what? I don't need a rabbit's foot. I just need sunlight. Lizzie, can you open the balcony door? I want to let all the sunlight in and air out the sage."
 "Nobody wants to smell your sage," said Andrea.
 "It's not for them. It's for me. So can everybody calm down?"
 "We're calm," said Debra. "You're the one with the cleaver, threatening to cut off this bunny's foot."
 "Yeah, you're being ridiculous," agreed Skye. "Or in your language, ridic."
 "I'm not being ridic," said Madeline, putting her knife down on the dining table. "I just want to be safe and sound for this wedding. Okay? I am a bridesmaid."
 "Maddie, you don't happen to have a cat, too, do you?" asked Lizzie loudly.
 "No. Why?"
 "Because I happen to see one."
 The girls joined Lizzie on the balcony. They looked down and saw a black cat chilling on the grass outside of the building, twirling its tail.
 "Oh, my God," moaned Madeline.
 "Whose cat is that?" asked Lizzie.
 "Possibly a witch's," joked Skye.
 "Hey!" Madeline yelled. "Get out, cat!"
 "Cats don't speak English," said Lizzie.
 "I know, Lizzie."
 "So I guess you're gonna be needing that horseshoe, huh?" asked Skye.

Embarrassment Town (Chapter 2)

Two days later, the girls used their free time to do something fun. So they decided to go to a laser tag place a few blocks from Madeline's condo. They bought their own gear -- which involved goggles, bulletproof vests and laser guns -- and went against each other on the playing area. The walls and surface of the area were black and gray, riddled with various-sized obstacles. The whole area flickered with green light, which came from the guns. Every time someone would shoot at another, a green light would go off on their vest. Some of the girls would pretend to die every time they got "shot".
After a half an hour of battling, the girls decided to sit down by the little tables beside the playing area and take off their gear.
Madeline sighed, flipping her blonde locks. "That's enough sweating for today," she said.
"I hope it is," said Skye. "I can smell you all the way over here."
"No, you can't."
"Should we order some food?" asked Andrea.
"Oui, je suis un peu faim."
"Speak English, girl."
"Yes, I think we should order something. I'm a little hungry."
"I'll buy us some food if you give me some money." Andrea put her hand out.
"Fine." Madeline rolled her eyes before handing Andrea a few dollars.
"Sweet." Andrea grinned.
"Mind if I come with you?" asked Debra.
"Sure, girl."
Andrea and Debra got up and walked over to the snack bar.
Madeline combed her hair with her fingers. As she did that, Skye leaned in from across the table and took a good look at Madeline. She looked up and made a face of confusion.
"What?" Madeline asked.
"Did your zit get bigger?" Skye questioned.
"Shut up."
"No, it's true," said Lizzie. "Your zit does look a little big."
"What?" Madeline took a little mirror from her pocket and looked at herself. The pimple by her nose became more inflamed. "Aw, man. You said it wasn't that noticeable."
"Well, it's noticeable now," said Skye.
"I don't understand why I'm breaking out."
Lizzie gasped. "Maybe because you have bad luck."
"No way."
"Then why else would you break out?" asked Skye.
"Maybe some products are getting old."
"You use your products every day. You have to buy new facial washes every two months because you use all of them up. There's no way your products are getting old. Face it; you have bad luck."
"If I have bad luck, then the sky is falling."
"You know what's gonna be falling?" asked Skye. "A piano right on your head."
"And Elton John's going to be playing that piano," Lizzie added.
Skye chuckled.
"Stop," Madeline demanded. "Alright? Just stop. There's no such thing as bad luck." Madeline accidentally dropped her mirror. It bounced off the floor, cracking the glass.
"Ooh," Lizzie uttered. "Now your bad luck is going to be even badder."
"No way. So what if I broke my favorite handheld mirror? That's not gonna do anything."
Soon, Andrea and Debra came back. Andrea was carrying a tray of burgers, French fries and salads while Debra carried a tray of drinks.
"We're back," sang Debra, putting the tray down on the table.
"I can't believe you used my money to get hamburgers and fries," said Madeline.
Andrea put her tray down. "Don't you see the salads, you witch?" she asked.
"She's just cranky 'cause she has bad luck," said Skye.
"I don't have bad luck," Madeline asserted.
Debra passed the drinks around. "I can't believe we're still talking about this," she said. "Bad luck does not exist." While she said that, she unknowingly knocked over the glass for Madeline, spilling the drink all over her lap. When Debra realized what she did, she gasped.
"Whoopsie," said Andrea.
"Madeline, I'm so sorry," said Debra.
"Don't be sorry," said Skye. "It's not you, it's the bad luck."
Madeline gave a shivering sigh. "I don't have bad luck," she hissed, banging on the table. "That was an accident. Everything happening is an accident."
"So you admit good things don't always happen to you?"
"Well, let's not go that far." Madeline tucked a lock of hair behind her ear. When she pulled her hand away, her fingers were webbed with numerous blonde hairs. Madeline widened her eyes at the sight.
"Are you sure?" asked Skye. "Because I would go that far."
"I'm going to the bathroom." Madeline pushed her chair back and stood up.
"Why?" asked Andrea.
"So I can clean myself up."
"You think you can get cleaner than this?"
"Do you know who I am? I think I can get myself clean." Madeline began walking away from the girls, looking for the bathroom.
The girls watched her leave and caught a large brown stain on the back of her white pants where her bottom was.
"Apparently, she can't stop herself from having diarrhea," said Skye.
Debra looked at Madeline's chair and found a blue, torn wrapper in the middle of the big, brown mess. She picked it up and showed it to the girls. "I don't think it's diarrhea," she said.
"Oh, that's where I put my candy bar," said Lizzie.

Embarrassment Town (Chapter 1)

The girls decided to spend their afternoon eating at a cafe. Instead of going to their new spot, The Tea Room, the girls decided to go to a cafe that Lizzie used to go to, Cool Beans. They sat at a booth, waiting for Madeline to arrive since she just got off from work. It only took twenty minutes for Madeline to come through the door. Lizzie squealed when she saw Madeline approaching them.
"Girls, I'm back by popular demand," said Madeline melodramatically.
"Yeah, yeah," said Skye. "Just sit down."
Andrea and Debra scooted down so Madeline could have room to sit. "Somebody missed me," Madeline said, smirking.
"How was work?" asked Lizzie.
"Work-y. I realize how hard lawyers have to work. Thank God we have lawyers in the world."
"Amen," said Debra.
"You say that like you need one."
Andrea and Skye laughed.
Soon, Wade, the waiter came to the girls' booth with a notepad and a pencil. "Hello, girls," he said. "Hello, Lizzie."
"Hi, Wade," Lizzie greeted back.
"Wow, this is the first time we weren't referred to as 'Madeline and the girls'," noticed Skye.
Madeline squinted her eyes at her.
"How's your boyfriend, DeMarcus?" asked Wade.
"Big and black," Skye answered for Lizzie.
"Oh, that's how my new girlfriend wants me to be."
Skye and Lizzie chuckled.
"What do you girls want to order?"
The girls looked at their little menus.
"Hmm, can I have the steak and fries?" requested Madeline. "Well done, please."
"Can I have the same thing," asked Lizzie, "but make the steak pink inside? I want it slightly raw."
Wade scribbled on his notepad. "That's what she said," he muttered.
"That's what who said?"
Wade shook his head, jiggling his grayish brown bangs. "Nothing. How about the rest of you?"
"I'll have the cheesesteak sandwich," Skye responded. "I'm on a no-pork diet," she said, mocking Madeline while eyeing her.
Madeline sneered at Skye.
"I'll have the chicken and waffles," requested Andrea. "Don't tell my parents."
"And I'll have the Caesar salad heavy with honey mustard dressing," said Debra.
Wade finished scribbling. "Alright," he said. "B.R.B." He walked away.
"B.R.B.?" repeated Skye. "That's a weird thing for a guy to say."
"Wade is always weird," mentioned Lizzie.
"Did I mention one of my aunts are getting married?" asked Madeline.
"Oh, no," Debra replied. "Tell us about it."
"Well, my aunt Cherise got engaged to Simon, the richest man alive, last year."
"I thought Donald Trump was the richest man alive," said Lizzie.
"No, I think that's Bill Gates," corrected Debra.
"Anyway," Madeline continued, "they're getting married on Saturday and the wedding's taking place in Canada so my family and I have to fly there on Friday. And I can't chicken out because my aunt made me a bridesmaid."
"Aw, you're a bridesmaid?" asked Debra.
"Yeah, my aunt doesn't have many friends so she made me a bridesmaid. She also made Veronique and Jeanne bridesmaids, too."
"Ugh, Veronique," groaned Skye. "I remember her."
"Who can forget about her?" asked Andrea. "Miss I-Don't-Play-Baseball-But-I'll-Swing-a-Bat-Over-Your-Head?"
"You swung a baseball bat at somebody before," reminded Madeline.
"Yeah, but I wasn't losing my mind when I did it."
"Oh, forget about Veronique," said Lizzie. "This is about your aunt Cheryl."
"Cherise," Madeline corrected.
"Cherise. She's getting married; why would chickening out be on your mind?"
"I don't know. She's just a little strange. Like Holly Golightly strange. She's strange 'cause she's fancy. Maybe even fancier than me. I just don't want to go to her wedding and it's not at all what I expected. What I do expect is that she's gonna put me in an ugly dress because you know how brides are. And there are going to be pictures of me looking like somebody mixed crack with their toothpaste." Madeline threw her arms out, being dramatic, only to knock over a salt shaker, spilling salt all over the table.
"Oh, no, you didn't, Madeline," gasped Andrea.
"What?"
"You just knocked over that shaker of salt," said Skye. "That's bad luck."
Madeline scoffed. "Yeah, right."
"Throw it!" Lizzie commanded.
"What?"
"Pick some salt up and throw it over your shoulder. It's supposed to get rid of the bad luck. Also, pat your head and rub your stomach. I heard that works, too."
"No, it doesn't, Lizzie," said Skye.
"I'm not gonna throw salt over my shoulder," said Madeline. "That's just stupid. Besides, I can't get salt on this sweater. It's cashmere."
"Well, if you're gonna have bad luck, you might as well look good," said Andrea.
"Will you stop? Bad luck doesn't exist."
"She's right," agreed Debra. "Bad luck isn't real. So let's not worry about it, okay?"
"Fine," Skye mumbled.
"Wade forgot to ask me for something to drink," mentioned Madeline.
"Drink the salt you spilled all over the place," Skye asserted.